


Will you remember us ?

by aphrodite161701



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Univers Alternatif - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23017984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphrodite161701/pseuds/aphrodite161701
Summary: Following an explosion during a mission, Oliver forgot everything, his role as a vigilante, the team, his love for Felicity. He believes that it is the day of his return after these five years of absence. Will he remember with the help of Felicity ? Where will he stay amnesiac forever. Read on to find out.
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 33
Kudos: 108





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After a long time without posting on our favorite couple, I start again with a new story. I warn that I am French and that I did my best to translate the first chapter, so I hope you can understand my writing. Good reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have corrected the errors, it should be more fluid for you dear readers.

Felicity was in her apartment, a laptop computer open next to her on her couch. For a few hours, she had prepared the best presentation to show Oliver so that he could use it during his meeting with the board of directors, wich would take place in a few weeks.

Now, she was watching one of her favorite series, but she was not really focused on the episode of the moment, she could no longer bear thes evenings alone at home too repetitive for her taste, Oliver seemed to no longer want her so often in the foundry now.

Since Slade had been locked up in the Argus prison on Lian Yu, Oliver had put him aside, it was the feeling she had been feeling for a while, like what had happened in the mansion to catch his former island mentor, had changed their partnership. She wanted to talk to him about it several times, but she suspected that as for his three words spoken that night, he would not answer her. Felicity was seriously starting to lose her mind doing nothing, not knowing why he didn't want her anymore, for his mission. Besides apart from all these questions that she often asked herself, she could not stand the work in the computer store, she was in a hurry for Oliver to recover Queen Consolidated.

Felicity thought back to their moment in the manor, she had hoped so much that after having finally closed a page of her past on the island, the archer would let herself go a little more, but on the beach Oliver had not confirmed his words spoken in the manor. Of course he hadn't fired him from the team, they were still friends and partners, at least she thought so, but he was still more distant than before. She would have liked this moment at the manor him to open the eyes on how they could be together, professionally and personally, but Oliver didn't seem to want to give them a chance.

She was taken out of her memories and thoughts when her cell phone rang, looking at the caller ID, she smiled...Maybe he couldn't do without her complety, at least her acquaintances, thought she by picking up.

\- Hi Oliver, do you need me ?, She asked.

\- Felicity ! Is not Oliver but Roy, replied his friend on the other end.

\- Hi Roy ! Why are you calling with Oliver cellphone...Why is he not calling me himself ?, Questions starting to flock in his mind.

Arsenal took several breaths, he knew that what he was going to announce to his friend was going to upset her enormously, especially knowing what Oliver represented for her, as for all of them.

\- Felicity i'm in the hospital with Oliver, he says.

\- At hospital ? What are doing there ? Roy ! Tell me where is Oliver ? Is he injured ? Diggle is he injured ?, she asked.

\- Oliver had an accident but I can't tell you more at the moment, he said to Felicity.

\- Why can't tou tell me more ? Roy ! Tell me what going on ? Is it so bad that he can't speak to me himself ? Don't leave me in the doubt, she asked already starting to panic.

She got up, put on her shoes quickly, and grabbed her car keys, as she left her apartment, Roy explaining that Diggle must already be outside her house to take her to the hospital wher Oliver was.

\- John will explain everything to you in the car, he will tell you what happened tonight. He also has some things to teach you that we were not aware of.

Felicity gulped, a dozen thoughts crossed his mind as she began to go down the stairs.

\- Roy, tell me he's alive please, she said his body shaking now.

\- Yes Felicity ! He's always with us, he replied.

Roy looked at the body of their friend on the bed, what had happened this evening was the most serious accident that had occured since his association with Oliver, he didn't know if this time he would get out as usual.

Felicity saw Diggle's car right outside her house, looking at him from a distance she could see her face closed, which meant that this time it was really very serious. She got into the car, she was so worried about what could have happened.

\- Now that I'm here, hopefully you will start filling in the blanks for this story. I have lots of questions in my head like why you were outside when I thought that Oliver had given us our evening, she said.

Diggle listened to his friend not daring to look at her, he had realized since few weeks, that Oliver had ousted Felicity from several missions. He had tried to get the archer to speak, but he had remained as silent as a carp, just telling him that it was none of his business. He had seen the change in behavior of Oliver since Felicity had been used as bait to Slade, he was aware of what had happened in the mansion, the young woman having confided, admitting to him that she had really believed the words spoken, before he slipped the syringe in his hand.

He suspected that seeing the woman he loved with Slade's sword on his neck, who risked dying by the hand of a man he had considered a brother, had upset the archer far more than diggle thought. This must have been the reason for his distance towards the young woman, he had been so afraid of losing her that he would rather reject her than give himself to their story. Diggle was brought out of his thoughts by his friend's voice who had to wait for an answer from him.

\- There was only me who was not invited at the mission tonight, isn't it John ?, she said.

\- When I asked him why you weren't there Oliver didn't want to say anything to me, just gave me that look that we all know...It's my business, answered John.

\- Now isn't the time to understand why he no longer wants me at the foundry. Roy told me that Oliver was in the hospital but nothing else. Tell me what's going on John, she asked.

\- Oliver is seriously injured Felicity, so much so that I couldn't treat him myself at the foundry. I asked Roy to warn you while I came to pick you up, he said.

He summed up for her what had happened that evening, she was very angry that because of Oliver, for whatever unknown reason, she was not present in the foundry to direct them as she always had done before. Diggle explained that it was during the patrol that they had found the Vertigo laboratory that a new dealer had opened on the docks. He explained that Oliver had wanted to do a quick spotting when they saw all the men coming out of the warehouse.

He had advanced quickly towards the front door but suddenly everything had exploded and the archer had been ejected very far by the breath of the explosion, when he had fallen his head had struck the concrete strongly. Diggle winced at the memory af all the blood on the floor as he reached Oliver. With Roy they had decided to take him to the hospital, the injuries were too serious, he could not treat him himself in the bunker. They changed him into civilian clothes and then managed to get him into the emergency room without being seen.

\- Roy stays with him while I came to pick you up to take you towards him.

Felicity breathed sharply, her heart rate accelerating slightly with his friend's words. A mixture of anger, anguish and fear mingled in her, the young woman realized that it was even more serious than his shoulder injury She thought that if Oliver hadn't been so distant after what had happened in the manor, if she had reassured him by telling her that she knew he had said the words only for the trick, she ould have been there tonight protecting him with his voice in his ear.

\- How is he John ? She asked with a trembling voice.

\- I'm not going to lie to you Felicity, it's really not good. The doctor said he has an inflamation of the brain and it is impossible to say the extent of the damage before Oliver wakes up. If he wakes up, he added calmly.

Diggle hated to admit that their friend might never wake up, or much worse, but the doctor who trated Oliver told him that head injuries were very unpredictable, everything could go well as anything could escalate in minutes.

\- Is he in a coma ?, said Felicity horrified by the situation.

\- No, just he hasn't woken up yet because of the pressure in his brain. I know it's hard to hear this, but Felicity you have to know all the information in case a decicion has to be made.

Felicity swallowed hard, her throat became dry as she tried to calm her breathing, Oliver the man she loved, might not get away with it. What would the team do without him ? What would become of her if she lost him ? The young woman was almost sure that she was close to a panic attack, she didn't have it often but she felt it coming quickly. She took a long breath and then breathed slowly trying to calm down, that's the way Oliver taught her to do the first time she had a panic attack.

He had been present following a patrol he had undertaken alone, Diggle being with Lyla that night, but it had gone bad. She had been so afraid for him, so afraid of losing him that when he returned to the foundry she was already in a panic attack, he had helped her to calm her down. When she felt less stressed, she ironed her friend's words in her head. Why should she know if a decision had to be made. She was not her emergency contact, John was, and everything that was medical, John was also responsible, she turned her face to his friend.

\- What do you mean in case I have to make a decision ?, she asked calmly.

\- I thought you knew Felicity, said Diggle surprised that his friend didn't know the new terms of the archer's decision.

\- To be informed what John, she asked.

\- He has put in place a whole procedure to be followed if a situation like this happens. He knew that at one time or another wearing Arrow's costume he could be so injured that he wouldn't be able to make decisions, he said.

\- Yes I know ! He asked me to do research when I joined you. I think it was after Malcolm beat him and ended up in th hospital that he realized he would need someone to help him with medical decisions, she replied.

\- You are aware of the person of trust who must make the medicale decisions...But you are not aware of the rest.

Diggle glanced at Felicity trying to find any sign of inderstanding of what he had just told her but she seemed as confused as ever and handed her the document ha had placed on the dashboard, indicating the name of the person in charge of making the medical decisions.

\- Felicity ! Oliver named you the person responsible for making the decisions, replied Diggle.

Felicity put her trembling hand on her mouth as she took the document withe the other whispering that it was not possible, that there must be an error. She glanced at the sheet of paper between her fingers, she swallowed as she watched her carefully, reading all the sentences. She could see his name written on the line of the trusted person to contact if a problem occurred, she could see that it was indeed Oliver's signature at the bottom of the page. She couldn't inderstand why Oliver had made the decision to let her decide whether to live or die if the injury was too great, leaving him unable to make his own decisions.

\- Felicity I think you don't realize the importance you have in Oliver's eyes.

\- I'm just his partner, I thought he would designate for take these kinds of decisions, you're his best friend, you're like a brother to him.

\- I think at one time it was my role but if you look at the date, he made the change a month ago, said Diggle.

Felicity looking at the date could see that is friend was right, Oliver had made the change little long after they returned of the island. But why ? She wanted to ask Diggle if he knew why the archer had made this change, but she could see the hospital on her right. They arrived in the parking lot and Diggle led her to Oliver's room, Roy had been watching him for a while, he probably wanted to take a break, the wait was really hard to bear.

When Felicity was in the bedroom and saw him lying on the bed without moving, she gasped as he was plugged into a machine that monitored his heart and pulse, and for now the two were stable. He also had an IV in his arm, dispensing the pain relievers, but she could see that he could breathe on his own which was good for her. In this way in this bed Oliver seemed to be resting, if all the machines were not present withe their shrill noise, she moght have thought he was just sleeping. Unfortunately she knew it was only a pious dream, because the man she loved did not sleep but was seriously injured. 

Diggle nodded to the nurse in charge of the archer since his arrival last night, who was monitoring Oliver's constants, he introduced him to Felicity explaining that she was the trusted person who would make all decisions about health from mister Queen.

\- Has the doctor given any news since I left, he asked, already knowing the answer but hoping to hear another.

\- No change, she said. His vital signs keep increasing which is encouraging, but he hasn't shown any signs of waking up yet. Dr Andrews should come and take him for a CT scan soon, she said calmly.

Felicity looked over to the bed, she held her breath at the sight of her infured body, almost lifeless, she left tears run down her cheeks, it hurt her to see him that way, inert. She took a few steps towards the side of his bed, while not taking her eyes from her face, his chest aching when she put a hesitant hand on his arm, letting him know that she had just arrived. 

She had known since she had been at Barry's bedside for several weeks, that people who slept because of brain problems could hear or smell those near them, at least that was what Caitlin had certified to her. 

\- I will take Roy drink a coffee, he needs a break if something happens, call me, said Diggle.

\- Okay, she replied without looking away Oliver.

Felicity sat on the chair near his bed, she took his hand had hoping that he felt his presence, it was so difficult for her to see him in this state. Thinking about the fact that he hadn't called her when they had found the drug traffickers, when she could have avoided him finding himself lying on this bed with a swelling in the brain, his anger against him took over his sadness to see him, like that.

\- What were you thinking of go to this warehouse without technological help !! If you had called me, I could have known from the start the presence of dynamite, I would have avoided you to be sent to the ground, seriously inuring you. But no !! You decided ousted me from the foundry only because you dare not tell me that what you told me in the manor meant nothing to you. But you want to know the scoop of the year. I already know it silly, I know you don't love me...I know there is only she in your heart, she said angrily.

She passed her hand in his hair thinking of papers she had read in the car, she resented him for having put him in such a situation that she was responsible for his life. She could not make such a decision because the answer was ready made in her head, she loved him too much to let him die.

\- Oliver...What dit you think of placing me in such a situation...To have to make the decision, to let you go if the doctor asks me to. Please, come back to me, I love you so much, I can't lose you, she whispered as she put her other hand on hers.

Oliver was in great pain, he had the impression to be passed under a truck, but he could bear the pain in his limbs. The one that was most unbearable was the one in his head, he wanted to be able to no longer feel this excruciating inflammation. He had already felt pain when he was on the island, when Fyers tortured him, or when he had to remove the bullet of his body in the freighter. He had broken bones, bruises all over his body several times and yet what he was feeling right now was even more excruciating. He wanted to slide back to sleep so he wouldn't feel anything anymore, but a voice held him back, preventing him from running away to a place wher nothing could touch him anymore. 

He could not understand the words spoken, but each time he heard the voice, he felt a halo of heat surrounding him which made him bear the pain, which made him want to get out of this fog in which he found himself. With the force he drew from deep indide him he decided to leave this place, this voice which spoke to him belonged to a woman and he wanted to meet this person who did him good. He moaned when he moved, fought against the wave of nausea when he wanted to open the eyes only to close them immedialely when the light shocked his system.

Felicity looked up at the body of the man she loved when she heard him moan, she saw him open the eyes to close them quickly. Her heart struck in his chest to see him trying to wake up, she put her hand on his chest caressing him to let him know his presence. She quickly understood that the light in the room should inconvenience him, she quickly did what was necessary so that the room was less illuminated, she also sent a message to John announcing the awakening of their friend. She always sat down, her hand caressing him chest, waiting that he opened his eyes again.

\- Oliver ! Can you hear me ? Oliver, open your eyes, she said.

Oliver more clearly heard the soft voice, he went little by little from the fog in which he had found himself, he tried to open his eyes again but his pain in the head made him suffer. He focused on what he had to do, he wanted to meet this person, the only way was to wake up. He relaxed, used the forces he had left in his body, then opened his eyes gently. When finally he could open them fully, he turned his head gently, on one side he could see a window but could not make out what was outside, his eyes probably getting used to even the dim light. 

On the other side he distinguished the shape of a person, but because of his vision still too blurred, because of this inflammation in the head he could not detail it well, but he suspected that the voice which the had helped out of his alarm clock belonged to this individual. 

\- I'm thirsty please, he whispered.

Felicity caressed Oliver's arm gently letting him know that she understood what he wanted, she turned to the bedside table where the jug and the glass that the nurse had placed there, she filled it, put the straw in the water and turned to help him drink. She gently slid her hand behind her neck as she slowly tilted her head and placed the straw between his lips.

\- Takes small sips. she said softly.

The water did him good against his dry throat, his vision started to come back a little bit but not well enough to see the face of the woman at his side, his vision still blurred. He blinked several times and screamed of pain everytime, his head beating louder with this simple gesture. 

\- I'm going to get a doctor Oliver, she said, getting up from a chair and hearing her scream. 

When she saw him blink, she realized that now that he was awake, the inflammation in his head must still make him suffer. When she wanted to leave the room to call the doctor or even a nurse she was stopped in her movements by the hand of Oliver who was clutching hers. When the young man felt that the young woman near the bed was going to leave him he felt a loss invade him, a fear even harder to bear than the pain itself. He reached out, grabbed his hand firmly as his vision tried to come back and he could finally make out the face of the woman near him. 

\- Please don't go, he said, his voice filled with despair. 

Felicity felt her heart tighten in her chest when she heard the distress in her voice, she put down the empty glass, shook his hand while placing the other on his chest again.

\- I'm not leaving you Oliver ... I'm just going to call a nurse to come and relieve your pain.

\- No! Please don't leave me, he said.

\- Ok Oliver! I'm just going to press the button to call him, but I'm not leaving the room. 

Oliver nodded, he felt better knowing that she would not leave, he did not take his eyes off her even though his vision was still blurred, his head still hurting, but as long as she was there, he was not alone and the thought calmed him. A few seconds after he heard a door open, he realized it was the nurse when she changed the painkiller bag and announced that she was going to notify the doctor of her awakening. Again after the nurse's departure, he heard the door open and then close again to open again a few minutes later. He could see the shape of a person who was standing at the foot of the bed, his vision still failing him, considering the size was a man he thought, which was confirmed when he spoke.

\- Hi Oliver! I'm really happy that you are with us again, said Diggle touching his leg.

Oliver turned his head a little and could see another shape, more small this time, he thought that it was perhaps his little sister who did not dare to approach him too much for fear of hurting him.

\- Don't worry not Speedy, I'm fine, at least as a man who just woke up from an accident, he says. 

\- If you compared me at Thea it's nice Oliver, but I may have more muscle than your sister, said Roy laughing.

\- Sorry But I still see fuzzy for the moment, from afar I thought you were my little sister. 

Everyone was silent in the room at the moment when the doctor came in the room after having been informed by the nurse that his patient had just to wake up, after having remained unconscious for three hours. Felicity moved to make room for Dr. Andrews, who was already starting to check Oliver's vital signs on the machines, and went around to hold his hand on the other side. The doctor asked his patient's friends to leave the room so that he could examine him.

\- We'll be behind the door. Let us know when you're done, says Diggle. 

Oliver squeezed Felicity's hand preventing him from leaving, his vision came back partially again, he could make out four people in the room, three men and the woman who held his hand. He fixed her with attention even if this movement made him suffer enormously.

\- You said you were going nowhere, he said like a little boy. 

Felicity looked at the doctor asking her to let her stay, she didn't understand Oliver's reaction but to calm him down she would do anything for him. The doctor agreed and began his observation leaving the other three people in the room, Felicity sat down again on the chair still holding the archer's hand.

\- Let Dr. Andrews examine you, I will stay with you , I promise, she said.

After a quarter of an hour the doctor explained that he was really lucky, he had no broken bones, but he would feel the pain of the impact on his muscles which would fade after a few days . But that the head injury was much bigger and what worried him the most, especially because of the swelling that was compressed part of his brain. He explained that he had to ask several simple enough questions to find out if he was at risk for memory loss due to brain compression. He started with the basic questions.

\- What is your name, he asked.

\- Oliver Jonas Queen.

\- What is your date of birth and where do you live?

\- May 16, 1985 and I live in Starling City.

Dr. Andrews was pleased with the responses, but explained that this did not mean that he had no memory problems. So he had to continue his interrogation. Not very happy, Oliver agreed anyway. 

\- Can you tell me what happened to you. Your bodyguard explained to me your motorcycle accident but do you remember it ? Asked the doctor. 

Felicity looked at Diggle who signaled that Oliver's secret was safe, indeed he had invented like the last time, a little over a year ago, that he had had a motorcycle accident. But this time he added that the motorcycle had exploded due to the fuel leak and that Oliver had been sent fifty meters further on the asphalt.

\- No, I have no memories of what happened, or how I got to the hospital. 

\- Sometimes you lose some of your memory with a head injury, says the doctor. Your friends are there to help you quickly find your memories. 

Oliver turned his head towards the people present in the room with him, he felt the young woman at his sides shake his hand, smile too. How beautiful it was, he thought. Then he looked at the two men, the boy he had taken for his sister, and the more muscular man who must have had military training because of his way of standing straight. He tried to think where he could have met them, but the pain in his head was again very present, he unfortunately had to tell the doctor the truth. 

\- I'm sorry, but I don't know any of these people, replied Oliver. 

\- Yet you hold the hand of this young woman, as if you knew her, says the doctor. 

\- It was her angelic voice that made me wake up, but unfortunately I don't know at all who she is. I'm sorry miss, replied Oliver.

Felicty felt her heart break, she thought he knew who she was when he woke up, who was Diggle when he looked at him but she should have understood by the time he had confused Roy to his sister that something was wrong. She was like everyone else thinking that because of his blurred vision he had been wrong. What a mistake on their part. Diggle heard the words came out of Oliver's mouth, he was so happy that his friend woke up that not a moment he thought he might have lost his memory. For having forgotten his night work, his mission, his partners, the woman he loved. 

Roy groaned only in anger at life to take away from him another person he cared for, even if neither Thea or Oliver had died in a certain way they had both left him alone again.

\- Can you tell me your last memory before your accident Mr. Queen, asked the doctor.

\- The meal I had last night with my mother and her husband Walter Steel, my sister and my best friend Tommy. 

Diggle realized that his friend's last memory was a few hours after his return from the island, which meant that he had no idea that two important people had died, that Thea had left, or that he was a vigilante.

\- Speaking of my family, do you know when I can see my mother and sister, asked Oliver. 

\- We will warn them, Mr. Queen, said the doctor. 

\- You haven't done it yet ? You didn't warn Laurel Lance either, she's my little friend, even if she is mad at me right now for what i did, replied Oliver. 

Felicity felt his heart squeeze even more, it was hard to realize that he might never remember her, his friends, his role for save the city. But it was even harder not to suffer knowing that he had not forgotten the woman he had made suffer for years with his infidelities.

\- Mister Queen I have to tell you something that will surely be hard to believe but we are no longer in 2012 but in 2014 ... You have lost two years of your life, says Dr Andrews. 

Oliver stared at him trying to understand what he had just said, he had not just returned from the island but it had been two years since he had returned, it was impossible. He felt the hand of the young woman he should know come off and he watched her go away feeling a cold surround him.

Felicity walked away from Oliver, she suspected that his behavior was surely childish, that she should stay by his side to support him but she felt sadness invade him knowing that she was surely not important enough in the Oliver’s life so he can remember knowing her. The doctor explained to Oliver that he was going to send stretcher bearers to take him to radiology because he wanted him to have a CT scan. Before she could get out Felicity put her arm on the doctor's to stop him. 

\- Will he remember one day ?, Felicity asked the doctor sadly. 

\- I have no answer to this question miss. Either he regains his memory completely, or all his memories concerning his life during these two years will be lost forever. 

Oliver watched the young woman walk away from him after she learned that he had lost his memory, he certainly did not remember her but he felt a hollow inside his heart when she let go of his hand. Looking at these three people, supposed to be his friends, he wondered what could have happened to him so that he ended up in a hospital, having forgotten two years of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

After the doctor left them alone in the room with the archer, Arsenal and Felicity stayed at the back of the room feeling no longer really comfortable with Oliver, and the news they had just learned. He had no memories of them, of Team Arrow, of their work together. Diggle approached their friend, he wanted to know if he had also forgotten his exile for five years, if facing them they had Oliver or Ollie because it would make a huge difference for the return of his memory, to manage it at his exit. 

Oliver kept his eyes on the young woman who had helped him out of this fog in which he found himself thanks to his soft voice. Even if he didn't remember knowing her, he wanted her by his side, because without her he felt like he was in the dark.

\- I'm sorry I don't remember you, miss, or you the guys, he said keeping his eyes on Felicity. 

\- It does not matter ! I'm used to go unnoticed, she replied bitterly. 

Oliver wanted to answer his scathing answer but he saw the muscular man approaching him, he wondered what he wanted. Diggle put his hands on the back of the chair. 

\- I'm going to ask you a few questions Oliver to find out the extent of your memory loss.

\- Why not do it when the doctor was there? , He asked. 

\- You are a known person, and I don't want any outside ears to hear your answers, said Diggle. 

Septicist by the answer of the man in front of him, Oliver accepted all the same to answer even if he suspected that he would still have the right to questions such as his name, but he was surprised when the man asked the first question. 

\- You said your last memory was a meal with your family and your best friend Tommy, Diggle asked.

\- Yes that's right. 

\- Do you know where you were before this dinner ? 

Oliver looked at the man wondering why he wanted to know the details of his life that he would have preferred to forget, but seeing the look of hope in the eyes of the young blonde woman he decided to play the game and answer any questions that man would ask him. For her. Even if he didn't know why it was so important to him that she wasn't sad.

\- I was coming back from the hospital where I had been checked after spending the last five years in exile on an island, and not of my own free will, he replied. 

\- So you know how your father died. 

\- On the Gambit at the same time as the staff and the sister of my girlfriend Laurel Lance. And if you want to know if I remember the horrors I suffered there, the friends I lost, the answer is yes. 

\- Do you know the meaning of your tattoo on the back and that on the chest. 

\- The one on the back, I remember, and the one on the chest also, replied Oliver. 

Diggle continued to ask him questions and the young man told him of his return to Starling City of the joy he had felt to have found his family, his best friend Tommy, the joy of finding Laurel who resented him very much for taking his sister Sarah on the boat. That she died because of her inability to be faithful. 

\- Arrow, Diggle said suddenly.

Oliver looked at him intently then smiled at him, John believed that he remembered everything but didn't mean anything. He turned back smiling at his friends confident that the memory loss was not that great, but when the words came out of the archer's mouth he realized that Oliver had forgotten much more than that his three partners

\- I'm sorry but I don't know what you're talking about. What is the name you just said ? Arrow ... What is it ? A new nightclub, a business, a store ?, asked Oliver. 

Felicity who was not far away felt her heart tighten. In addition to not remembering them. Oliver had no idea that he was the vigilante who saved the city at night, that he had returned to fulfill his father's wish. Clean up the city of corrupt men who ruled it. Diggle began to worry about Oliver's responses, he didn't remember how his father died, or anoything about Arrow.

\- Oliver, if I ask you about the last memory you have on the island, could you tell me ?, Asked Diggle. 

\- The death of a friend whom I had to kill to survive, he replied.

Oliver looked at Felicity and a violent pain hit him again, Diggle pressed the button of the nurses so that they come to give him more painkillers. He couldn't understand what was happening, why Oliver had forgotten everything that connected him to his role as a vigilante. He was not a doctor, but only one reason could be the cause of his amnesia, something trauma. He just had to find out what was bothering him so he could bring him back to them. When one of the nurses arrived, he motioned for his friends to follow him outside and they left Oliver's room. 

\- Let's go outside to chat, there are too many people here, said Diggle. 

The three friends got out of the hospital then got into their car, there was a silence for a few minutes then Roy was the first to speak. 

\- Do you think he will remember one day that he is a hero?, He asked. 

\- I hope his situation is only temporary, said Diggle. 

\- Why did he forget who we are? That he's Arrow, Felicity asked.

\- He seems to remember you, he didn't want you to leave him, Roy replied.

\- I think it's her unconscious that makes him want the urge to get closer to her. Her head doesn't remember Felicity, but her heart knows who she is, Diggle replied looking at her with a smile. 

\- Oliver doesn't feel anything for me. what happened in the mansion was a ruse to simply catch Slade, says Felicity. 

\- Felicity ...

\- Stop Diggle! Oliver only considers me a friend. I even think he intends to start a new story with Laurel., I know they have had dinner together several times in the past few weeks, she said frustrated that she was reminded that the archer did not want to be with her. 

\- So why didn't he want you to leave him ? Asked Roy.

\- Simply because I was there when he woke up...Nothing more. When his memories are back he will go back into the arms of Laurel Lance, the woman with whom he wants to be. End of discussion, she said getting angry. 

The boys understood that she no longer wanted to talk about it, they stayed several more minutes talking about what it implied, what they should do to help their friend regain his memory.

\- What I'm wondering is why he remembers being away for five years, to have killed Slade on the Amazon when he lost Sarah the second time, but not his role as a vigilante, said Felicity. 

\- He doesn't seem to remember either that his father killed himself in front of him with a bullet in the head and that he asked him to right his wrongs, said Diggle. 

Roy asked the question that had been burning his tongue from the start. Oliver just wanted to stop being a vigilante and that with this accident he had found a way to no longer be Arrow.

\- He could have pretended to have forgotten his time as a vigilante Roy. But he would never have pretended not to know Felicity, she is too important to him, even if she does not want to believe it, he said looking at the young woman. He is really amnesic but I think he has selective amnesia. 

\- What do you mean ? Asked the young woman. 

\- What is it ?, Asked Roy. 

Diggle explained to them that Oliver had erased the memory of a traumatic event that frightened him, knowing that it took a lot for their friend to be afraid, this event must have been impossible to bear for him so he had erased it from his memory. But the explosion, the swelling in his brain had also erased, the other memories that were associated with this trauma which had made him lose two years of his life. 

\- You think his trauma is linked to his mission, so he forgot us too because of his accident, asked Felicity. 

\- I am not a doctor so I cannot say exactly that I am right, but I see no other reason why he would have lost his memory.

\- How should we be with him Dig ? asked Roy. 

\- We should ask his doctor for advice, he replied. 

They returned to the hospital and asked to speak to Dr. Andrews. They only had to wait a moment before he came to join them in the hospital hall. It was Diggle who asked the first question. 

\- We would like to know how to behave with our friend. He doesn't know us, we don't know what we have the right to say to him or not. 

\- I would say not to rush him first, let him take his marks at his own pace. Tell him about you only if he asks you questions. Sometimes hearing sounds like music he likes to listen to, smelling smells like a restaurant you like to go to together can help bring back the memory, says the doctor. 

Diggle thanked him for his answers, when they got in front of Oliver's bedroom door, they decided that Felicity should be the one to enter the room. her presence seemed to calm Oliver, he seemed to trust her more than they did.

\- You're sure it must be me who comes into his room and speak to him. You know my tendency to babble, I could say something unintentionally, she said. 

\- Act normally Felicity that's it. 

\- My babbling is normal John ... The day I met him I babbled. I think we should call Laurel, he remembers her, they have had memories in common for years, she said. 

\- And at the moment he thinks they are not on good terms, he thinks he came back from the island a few days ago. 

\- But the doctor told him that he forgot two years, he must suspect that they settled their differences. 

\- He knows it yes !! But in his memory it is still in 2012. Felicity you are the most apt to prevent an earthquake in this hospital. I know you will have the words to calm him down, him reassure , him help.

She agreed to go see him first, her priority being to make life easier for the man she loved in this establishment, Felicity waited a few seconds, took several short breaths to give herself courage and opened the door, she walked into the room, walking slowly to Oliver's bed. 

############################

The archer became more and more impatient to remain alone in this room, after the doctor left the room, the muscular man had asked him several questions. He had been able to realize that he was worried when he realized that he did not know what Arrow meant. After their departure he had tried to think of this name but nothing had occurred in his memory, he did not understand why it had so shaken the three people in the room that he did not remember what that word meant. 

He understood after his discussion with the doctor. that he had forgotten two years of his life. After their departure, he got up with difficulty then left for the bathroom. When he looked at Slade's tattoo after Shado's death a huge pain crossed his head again. It was not the first time, he began to believe that it was only as soon as he thought of his dead old brother that the pain appeared. But why, he had no idea

. The doctor also explained to him that his memory loss was due to his accident, that the return of his memories could come back quickly as well as very slowly. He also explained to her that there was a possibility that no memory would come back and that the part of his life he had forgotten was lost forever. 

He closed his eyes for a moment the pain in his still strong head, the drugs were doing their job but not quickly enough for his taste. The sound of the door opening caught his attention and he turned his head as the blonde woman slowly entered the room. While she walked towards him he looked at her more attentively, she was cute, with harmonious curves, her blue eyes hidden behind her glasses and her smile which soothed him without his understanding why. He tried to search his memory, to remember a moment whit her, of the fact that he knew her, but nothing came back to him. 

\- I started by believing that you won't come back ... I'm sorry but I didn't even have the courtesy to ask you your name, he said with a smile. 

\- I'm Felicity ... Felicity Smoak.

\- Fe.li.ci.ty, repeated Oliver, trying to remember her now that she had told him her name. 

The young woman felt chills run through her when he repeated her first name, he always pronounced it that way when he was frustrated by his babbling, or that she was so focused on a job that she hadn't heard him call it. But this time even if the chills were still present, a pain in his heart too, because he pronounced it the same way without knowing who it was for him, for the team. 

Oliver who felt her anxious and sad also took his hand in his, with this gesture, he felt better suddenly, he did not understand why the presence of this woman he did not know could do him so much good. Perhaps he had had an affair with her before going to the Gambit, he had cheated on Laurel so often, with so many women that it could be possible. But by looking at her better, he realized that at the time when he was a shameless playboy he would not stop on her, she could be beautiful, she was not his type, he liked brunettes. _**"I actually dye them"** _heard Oliver, he closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath. 

\- What did you just say ?, He asked the young woman.

\- Sorry !! I did not speak, she replied while looking at him. 

Oliver realized that what he had heard had reasoned in his head, it was words he had been told, but he didn't know who said them, and when it happened. 

\- Where did we meet? He asked. 

\- In the company where I worked ... which belongs to your family ... belonged to your family ... But you had worries ... that you try to solve, with my help, she says. 

\- Why are you helping me get my business back if you are no longer part of it ? he asked blankly. 

Felicity felt sad suddenly to hear him ask all these questions, she withdrew her hand from hers, the Oliver she knew missed her a lot, she wanted him to come back to her, quickly. 

\- You asked for my help because I have a master's degree in cyber security and we are friends even if you find it hard to believe, she said standing up.

How a woman so intelligent, so remarkable could have found herself in her circle of friends. _**"Thank you for noticing"** _It had happened again, a random phrase said by someone was going through his memory. He would try to understand that later, for now he had to be forgiven by this young woman who seemed to know him very well. 

\- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, but I'm trying to understand who you are and why you were present at my bedside after my accident of which I have no memory, said Oliver. 

Felicity bit her bottom lip, wondering whether or not to tell her the truth about her being in the hospital. Of course she wanted to tell him that she was there because she cared so much about him, that they were crime-fighting partners at night with their friends Diggle and Roy. But the doctor had specified not to overwhelm him with too direct answers likely to never make him return the memory and Felicity wanted that his Oliver is back. She decided to talk to him about what he had done, about the change of trusted person in relation to his health. 

\- You signed a document naming me as a person of confidence in medical decisions concerning you if you were unable to do it yourself. she says.

He could notice that she was doing her best to hide her emotions but he still managed to see this sadness in his eyes, probably because he had forgotten their story. He thought about the document she had just mentioned, Oliver had no memory of having filled out this kind of paper, he even wondered why he would have needed a support person for medical decisions. But what surprised him even more was why he had named her precisely. How important was this woman in his life, for to entrust him with responsibility for his life. He decided not to persecute her for the moment and to concentrate on the other people who accompanied him that might help him to have other fleeting memories. 

\- Who are the two men who were in the room with you ?, He asked instead. 

\- The biggest is John Diggle. he's your bodyguard, you're friends too. The other man, Roy Harper, is your sister's boyfriend, but she's currently traveling with Moira, she replied. 

\- I understand better why she did not come here with my mother if they are traveling together.

Felicity did not have the courage to admit to him that his mother was no longer alive, that he had lost him recently, she realized that when he will remember, it would be difficult enough for him, it was surely a memory that he would like to forget. To see Slade stabbing his mother with a sword, without being able to save her, would always be a pain he would carry all his life. If she could him bring back his memory by erasing this event, she would do it immediately. She held out her hand and put it on his arm.

\- I know it must be difficult for you to realize that there is a gap of two years missing in your memories. I know you are always in control of all aspects of your life and this memory loss is driving you crazy. You ask yourself tons of questions that nobody can answer, not because they don't know the answers but because feeding you with too much information can drive you deeper into amnesia, she explained , his thumb brushing comforting circles again on his arm. 

\- You're right it drives me crazy not to be able to remember who you all are, not to understand why I find myself in this hospital without memory. To realize that I came back from hell where I was two years ago, that I managed to lose the company of my parents and that I do not know if Laurel and I are together, he says.

Felicity felt the last sentence like a stab in the heart and accused the blow without flinching. She knew that Oliver had always loved Laurel, she had served Slade as bait so that he could save the lawyer ... Only her. 

\- You will have the answers to your questions over time when your memory comes back. As for Laurel, I can just tell you that during these two years you have evolved, the wound was deep it took you time to find yourself, said she. 

\- So you tell me that Laurel is my girlfriend, he said. 

\- No! This is not what I said ... I simply do not know where you are with she. I ask you to trust me, that we will do everything to get your memories back as soon as possible. 

The archer didn't know why, but deep inside he knew he could trust Felicity, and that he and Laurel weren't together, he felt that his story with his ex-girlfriend was over for a long time. His eyes rested on her arm as she ran her thumb over his skin, he shivered at this contact, he met his gaze again and knew he wanted to remember very quickly who she was for him. He felt that it was an essential need for his future. Oliver's eyelids were starting to get heavy and he was having trouble concentrating again, he felt he would fall asleep soon.

\- Thank you for being with me Felicity, he said slowly. 

\- I would not be anywhere else Oliver, sleep now I will always be there when you wake up, she said. 

A few minutes later Oliver was sleeping soundly, Felicity got up slowly so as not to wake him up and left the room to join Diggle and Roy who were waiting for him in the corridor. 

\- He fell asleep, I think waking up and learning that he had lost two years of memory made him very tired, she said. 

\- Felicity are you all right ?, Asked Diggle, putting his hand on his shoulder. 

\- He asked me where we had met and why I had been there with him when he woke up. I gave her short answers without too much information. 

\- But that's not what grieves you is it ?, he says.

\- I think we should ask Laurel to come, Oliver asked me if they were together again. He wants to be with her, not with a woman he doesn't know, she replied sadly. 

\- I just called her, she's in Coast City, she's only coming back in a week. You're going to have to stay with him for now, replied Diggle. 

Felicity accepted the request even if she thought that this story was going to distance them even more in a certain way, she kissed them asking them to be careful during the patrol tonight then returned to the room of the man she loved but wanted another woman, having promised to be present when he woke up. 

She sat on the chair which was still next to her bed, took off her shoes and lifted her feet so that they were under her body. She put her head on one hand as she placed the other on Oliver's arm letting him know that he was not alone, that she had not left him, as she had promised him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity move in together for the vigilante's recovery.

Oliver opened the eyes, he noticed that the room was dark, except for the monitor that displayed its constants dimly illuminating the bedroom, which meant that he had slept for several hours. He still felt his head pulsating like a drum, but weaker than when he was out of his coma. He felt a presence by his side holding his arm, turning his face, he noticed that it was Felicity who was asleep in a chair, watching over him. 

He saw that the television was on, but muted, he wondered if his accident had been announced, if it was the case, he could perhaps remember something if he saw the information concerning him. Being Oliver Queen who had just returned from an alleged death of five years, journalists had to speak about his accident, he was sure of it. He moved his body to the edge of the bed to get closer to the bedside table, reached out to reach the remote control, wishing to turn up the sound and change the channel to view the news continuously. Felicity felt a movement in Oliver's bed which woke her up, she rubbed her eyes, replaced her glasses which had deviated during her sleep, she noticed that the vigilante wanted to catch an object on the bedside table.

\- Do you need something Oliver ?, She asked. 

Oliver jumped, not realizing that the young woman had woken up, he gave her an apologetic look for having disturbed her in her sleep, then realized that the chair shouldn't be comfortable for her. 

\- You didn't have to stay with me you know, he said. 

\- I didn't want to leave you, she said simply. 

\- Thank you, replied Oliver, sincerely touched that she had stayed with him in this bedroom when she was clearly exhausted, having not left him since he woke up. 

Now that he was awake again and that she was present with him he decided to know more about her, about them, about their connection.

\- I would like you to tell me more about yourself, maybe it will trigger a memory, he suggested hopefully. 

Felicity sat down better on the chair extending her legs at the same time, she thought about what exactly she could tell him. 

\- I lived for several years in Vegas with my mother then I left for MIT when I was 16. I have a Master in Cyber Security that I've had at 19 years old. Then I worked for your family's IT department, but the company has had a ... a problem ... I don't work there anymore, she said. 

She had wanted to tell him that her family's company had undergone a takeover offer from an unscrupulous woman who worked for a monster, but that would have forced him to talk about Slade. He wasn't ready to hear that the man he believed dead on the island was ultimately alive and that with his team of vigilantes they had put him in a super secure Argus prison. She would have been forced to admit to him that he was the vigilante of the city, the famous Arrow whose name Diggle had pronounced yesterday, the one of wich he had no memory.

He remained silent as she told him a small part of his life, trying to understand how he had known such a smart woman and that they had apparently become friends. He remembered that most of the women he had known were mostly superficial and didn't have the same level of intelligence as Felicity. What surprised him most was how well he felt with her, that he felt that he could have complete confidence in her and that it was reciprocal. 

He closed the eyes and he had again a sentence which crossed his mind _**"Including one very blond IT expert"** _ he opened the eyes quickly which gave him a new pain, he clenched his teeth so as not to scream. 

\- Oliver do you want me to call a nurse. she asked, seeing that he was in pain again. 

\- No ! Their drugs me fall asleep me preventing from remembering.

\- I understand Oliver but it may take time for your memory to fully recover, the medicines are there to help you, so that you don't suffer, she said with a smile.

Oliver stared at her intently, he realized once again that she had the most beautiful smile he had ever had a chance to see, he felt chills running through him again, they were interrupted by the arrival of Dr. Andrews. 

\- Good evening, the scanner that you have passed shows that the swelling begins to absorb slowly but it's still present. 

\- How long should I stay here ?, Asked Oliver. 

\- At least two more days, Mr. Queen, so that I can control the swelling. After you can leave but must remain under surveillance. 

Felicity knew that Oliver no longer had a house, that he had lost the manor at the same time as the company when Isabel had managed to take full control of the company. She had bought him a bed for the foundry, spending most of his time there having lost his fortune.

\- In no case you send me a stranger who will stay with me to watch me and who will take pictures without my knowledge, to sell them afterwards to the highest bidder, he said harshly. 

\- Mister Queen, your accident was very serious, you could never have woken up. As long as there is swelling in your head that puts pressure on your brain, you should never be alone if a complication occurs. 

\- Oliver, do you want me to stay with you to play the nurse ?, She said, smiling. 

\- Felicity will you want to stay with me and be my nurse ?, He said at the same time.

The young woman realized what she had just asked, that her sentence had a sexual connotation, she felt her cheeks blush and apologized for having made this proposal in this way. Oliver looked at her, and realized that he didn't want any othe person, except Felicity, to take care of his recovery. Oliver felt deep inside him that she was the only person he could trust implicitly. And evem if he had no memories of their relationship, he felt there was more to their friendship.

He suspected that if he had designated the young woman as his trusted person for medical decisions concerning him, it must have been for a specific reason, and he wanted to know this reason. Oliver was sure that his memory would return faster if Felicity stayed with him all the time. 

\- Is that possible for you miss ? asked the doctor. 

\- He will be able to stay with me ... His house ... his apartment .. Is under construction, she lied.

\- Okay, Mr. Queen, I will come back tomorrow to see the evolution of the swelling of you head. Miss Smoak I will give you explanations on the treatment of your friend. Please follow me, asked Dr. Andrews. 

\- Of course. .. I'll be back in a moment Oliver, she said. 

She left the bedroom followed by the Doctor, he made her move away from the door not wanting his patient to hear their conversation. Felicity realizing that he was not going to talk about the treatment at all waited for him to speak to him, leaving her arms crossed in front of his chest. 

-Miss Smoak I would like that while Mr. Queen is in your house you do not give him any information about his life. 

\- I know you warned us not to feed him with to many memories, but I know him and he will ask me questions as soon as we are alone. For the moment he restrains himself, but I promise you that when he arrives in my apartment he will want answers, she says. 

\- I understand your dilemna but his memories must come back by himself, without the help of his friends.

\- Okay Dr. Andrews I'll follow your instructions. 

-It is better for him and for his memory to come back entirely. If you give him a lot of information, he may never remember the past two years, replied the doctor.

When she had finished her discussion with the doctor assuring him that she wouldn't say anything to Oliver about her life, she returned to Oliver's bedroom again. She resumed her seat ont the chair near Oliver's bed and sent a message to Diggle explaining the new events.

Oliver was glad she was back, feeling more soothed he quickly relaxed, tiredness overwhelmed him again, he realized that the doctor should have to give him a new dose of morphine, he tried to keep his eyes open and looked at Felicity strumming on her phone. He realized he hadn't even asked her if she had someone in his life, maybe he was disrupting his personal life. 

He felt a sharp pain in the chest and in his head to think of her with another man, he didn't understand the feeling of jealousy that surrounded him. He hoped his memory would be back when he opened the eyes again the next time, because he really wanted to know who Felicity Smoak was and what connected them to each other. Oliver put his hand on hers, smiled at her then closed the eyes hoping to have answers soon.

##################################"

They had moved at Felicity two days ago, Diggle had gone to pick up their friend's belongings at the foundry and had deposited them in the young woman's apartment. With Roy, they had prepared the room in which the vigilante would stay while the young woman was still monitoring Oliver in the hospital. The day he was finally able to leave the hospital, Felicity had forced him to sit on the wheelchair to go to the parking lot. Oliver wishing to manage on his own had refused, they had a little argument, at after ten minutes of battle she had succeeded in making him falter, she had been proud of it. 

As for Oliver, he realized that she didn't yield to him like all the women he had ever known, she had a fiery temper and he greatly appreciated it. Arriving in front of the car where their friends were waiting for them, she had presented Diggle and Roy to Oliver, it had bored her to have to do it when for two years they had been fighting together against the evil that was trying to indoctrinate the city. Oliver had gone up into the car without a word, but after five minutes of driving he had started asking questions. 

\- Mr. Diggle, how long have you been my bodyguard ?, He asked.

\- You can call me John or Dig. I've been working for your family since you returned two years ago Oliver. Your mother hired me as a bodyguard and driver. 

\- Felicity told me we are friends. 

\- She told the truth, over the years we have become friends, even if it may seem impossible to you, we found that we had common points. 

Oliver had no memories of what this man was telling him, what in common could they have ? They came from two complety different worlds. He had concentrated on whether he would hear a voice but nothing happened. He had decided to question the other man in the car. 

\- And for you ! How did we meet ? he asked Roy. 

\- In a way you showed me a better way than the one I was heading to, and I would always be grateful to you for life.

\- I didn't know that I was a good Samantain. 

\- I would rather have defined you as a mentor, replied Roy. 

Oliver hadn't understand the young man's innuendo, he had concentrated again but no sentence had crossed his memory. He had felt the pressure of Felicity's hand on his, this gesture immediately had calmed him. How this woman could have such power over him ? He had no idea. When they had entered the young woman's town house, she had showed him the room in where he was going to be able to sleep, relax until he could manage on his own, hoping that his memory would be back very quickly.

##############################

They had been living together for two days and Felicity already had a lot of questions for the future, she knew that Oliver would surely ask to return to the manor, which he no longer had in his possession. He would also surely want to see Tommy his best friend, but yhe young man had died during the earthquake caused by Malcolm Merlyn., but he didn't remember. 

She was also worried about the return of Sarah who came back from time to time to help them since she left again with Nyssa at Nandat Parbat. If Oliver found himself in front of her he would surely not understand why she was alive, when he had seen her die on the Amazon. She suspected that he would have the same reactions as almost a year ago when Sarah arrived in Starling City and they had met Black Canary. 

He would like to have a relationship with the young woman again, Felicity was certain of this fact, and this was beginning to do a lot with Laurel, Felicity thought. She had to find a way to warn Sarah knowing that there was no way to tell her about Oliver's state of health, in view of the lack of internet in their remote region. Laurel, already knew about Oliver's memory loss, Diggle having warned the lawyer. She had at least a week's respite. Everything was so complicated with his lack of memory, to have to abstain from telling him the slightest event that could drive him even more in amnesia.

They chatted without mentioning his memory loss and she discovered another Oliver, and even though she missed the one she knew, the one without constraints related to saving the city was just as interesting. Tonight she had made a meal tray in her room, Diggle sent her a message to help them. Oliver, not feeling well had gone up to his own room. 

Right now she was locked in her bedroom sitting with her tablet in her hands, a cup of coffee on her bedside table, waiting to be tasted, as she watched the dots move rapidly on the screen. For half on hour she had been helping Diggle and Roy with their mission, to catch tthose who were responsible for the warehouse explosion who had made Oliver amnesic, no longer remembering to be the city's vigilante. They had quickly understood that everything had been a set up by the new trafficker who wanted to take the place of the count, to make Arrow disappear and continue their small business quietly.

She watched them on her tablet with an earpiece explaining to them where they should go so as not to fall into a new ambush, an injured hero was enough. They had managed to find the new building where the traffickers manufactured the new Vertigo, his two partners were now near the door ready to intervene to stop them. 

\- How many man are there Felicity ?, Asked Diggle. 

\- I see six spots, not counting yours, she replied. 

Oliver was sure he would win the New York marathon if he kept pacing around the room, he had planned to go to bed after his shower, he had taken the medicine Felicity had put on his bedside table, but too many things were jostling in his head to manage to sleep. This afternoon he wanted to speak to one of the people on the board to find out exactly what had happened so that the company no longer belonged to his family.

He had had on the phone the only man who had never loved him, his father often told him that Mr Daniels had shouted loudly that he would never accept that the ignorant and playboy son of Robert Queen be the head of the society one day. When he was able to speak on the phone with this disdainful man, he explained to him that the company had been the victim of a takeover bid by a company called Stellmoor International.

\- I didn't succeed in countering this attack, Mr. Daniels. 

\- If you had been there, you could have, Mr. Queen, but you can't run such a large company by spending your time going around the world with your secretary on your arm, he said. 

He explained to him that when he returned from his trip he often went away without giving explanations for several days, this was the reason why the company could have been conquered by a woman, Isabel Rochev, sent by Stellmoor International. 

\- Have I had a relationship with this woman? That's why I didn't see her take over my family's company, asked Oliver.

\- You were far too busy with your secretary, Mr. Queen, it was with her that you spent all your nights, replied Mr. Daniels. 

Oliver had felt a headache and a new sentence had crossed his mind _**"And I love spending my nights with you ... Three ... Two ... One".** _ He hung up the phone, thanking Mr. Daniels for all the information, then waited for the pain to go away. He didn't understand how he could have been so selfish again since his return, it didn't fit with the man he felt to become. He suspected that Felicity would never have become his friend if he was the type to bring women every night to his house, he was no longer the playboy who had left with Sarah on the Gambit. 

He had lived too much pain, to become this carefree kid again, Oliver had made it a point on his return to take his responsibilities seriously or at least he assumed he had, seen that the police had not come see him in hospital to report a new mischief that he could have caused. How could he have lost his parent's society ? Was sleeping with his secretary more important than saving what his father had built from nothing ? What he was certain of was that the three people present when he woke up must have been part of this mystery and that it was the real reason why he was recovering from an injury that had made him lose his memory.

He had lost two years of his life which had flown away, it was not trivial. He was convinced that the motorcycle accident was a lie, he knew he was doing something dangerous during his time away from society, he had seen the new scars on his body. He raised his hand and touched the one above his collarbone, his pain in the head returned with full force as well as a new sentence _**"First to see a network so badly installed, it hurts in my flesh".** _

Oliver began to realize that every sentence that had crossed his mind since he woke up probably came from the same person, but he didn't know who. It was probably what he had to find first, maybe if he found the person who said these sentences they could recover his memory. With this idea in mind he went down to fetch water, passing by the door of Felicity's bedroom he heard the young woman having a conversation with a man. 

Would she have had her boyfriend here while he was there ? She didn't seem like his kind to impose the presence of a stranger on him when he had no memories. He didn't want to disturb her but to know that a man could be in the bedroom with her made him angry without understanding why, his pain in the head intensifying at the same time. He took several breaths to calm her down, he was tired of taking these painkillers, these drugs weakened him and he didn't like it, he had to learn to control this pain.

Felicity froze when she heard the knock on the door and Oliver's voice asking if he could come in, she quickly explained to the guys not to make any noise, that she should go to see the vigilante. She opened the door a little bit, so that he couldn't enter and see her tablet, she knew he would be curious and would glance at the screen of her tablet. 

\- I bother you Felicity ?, He asked, trying to see if there was a man on the bed. 

-No not at all, I was watching a Netflix program on my tablet, she said. 

\- Great it bothers you if I look at it with you, he said pushing the door and entering the room. 

Oliver saw that the room was empty, he felt better all of a sudden, even if he still didn't know why it bothered her as long as she was with another man, the pain also subsided.

\- Make yourself at home, she said not having enough strength to prevent him from entering his lair. 

Oliver realized that she had to hide something, she was much too tense. When he looked in the direction of the bed where the tablet was located he could realise that it had nothing to do with a series or a movie, he could distinguish red and green dots moving on what looked like plans of a building. What kind of problem was she in ? He wanted to ask her. But when he turned his face towards her he could see his fear that he would discover his secret, he could see her thinking trying to find an answer to the question that she was sure he would ask her. He decided not to rush her, he preferred that she explain his secret to him herself. 

\- I'm sorry to have interrupted your evening in this way, he said. 

\- Why did you come Oliver ..? Do you need something ?, She asked. 

\- I had a headache, not finding the pills, I came to ask you, where I could find them, he replied quickly.

\- There is a box in the bathroom cabinet, first drawer on the left, she replied, relaxing that he didn't ask her any questions. 

\- Thank you ! I leave you to your movie, he says. 

\- Thank you, good night Oliver, she said. 

He left the room and went to the living room, he didn't know what she was up to, and he vowed to get Felicity to tell if she was in trouble. He didn't understand the feeling of protection he felt towards the young woman. He sat on the sofa, put his hands behind his neck, he was so angry with him for not being able to collect the pieces of the puzzle of his life that was in his mind. Why had he forgotten these two years in particular ? Why was itn't what he had lived in hell that he had forgotten ? He really would have preferred. Why did he feel fierce jealousy consuming him when he thought of the young woman with another man ? So many unanswered questions that frustated him enormously.

Felicity rushed to her bed when Oliver left, she bit her lip to have had to lie to him, but he had to remember himself from his night work, she tapped again on her tablet and could see that the two green dots were always on the move.

\- Diggle, I'm here. Are you both alright ? 

\- Everything is in order Felicity !! Call Lance and tell him to pick up the packages. 

She called Lieutenant Lance to give him the address where he could find drug traffickers he had been looking for a while waiting wisely for the arrival of his men. Quentin also didn't know that Arrow was unavailable at the moment, Roy was wearing Oliver's costume so that no one knew that the city could be attacked at any time, she was already recovering with difficulty from Slade's seat.

After greeting them and wishing them a good night, Felicity disconnected, withdrew her earpiece left her bedroom. Looking to the right, towards Oliver's bedroom door, she wondered if she should go see him but instead preferred to go get ready a new cup of coffee. Passing through the living room she spotted his friend sitting on the sofa with his head bowed and she felt his chest compress to see him so helpless. 

\- Oliver! she said softly slowly approaching him toward the couch. Do you have pain again ?

\- No ! I'm just trying to understand a reason why I prefered let the compagny my father built with his own hands undergo an OPA while I slept with my secretary, he said harshly.

He felt the pain come back again, _**"May I bring you coffee? You don't seriously offer me a coffee ..? Ah no, This isn't likely to happen... Never".** _ Oliver clenched his teeth, he had just remembered a conversation with this secretary, it was new, before he only had heard a few words. Did that mean that everything he had heard came from her before. Who was she ? That couldn't be Felicity, he was sure, she was far too smart to be a simple executive secretary. So who was this woman with whom he slept while his society sank ?

Felicity felt her heart beat fast. How did Oliver had he learned about the takeover ? Who had told him about Isabel Rochev ? And who was he talking about when he mentioned the fact that he was sleeping with his secretary. He had no secretary. She could see such guilt on his face that she had to reassure him without telling him that she was the one next to him in the office. Otherwise he would ask why he had promoted her to this position, which was related to Arrow which she couldn't speak of at the moment. 

\- How did you learn about the takeover bid by Stellmoor Intermational and Isabel Rochev ?

The pain that had faded returned in force once again, he couldn't bear this repetitive knock that came and went without him knowing why. _**"What is happening in Russia stays in Russia even if I have a lot trouble understanding"** _ And as every time the pain was present, a sentence or a bit of conversation followed. 

\- Mr. Daniels explained to me that I was often absent leaving the company in the hands of a heartless woman. That I had gone for five months to go around the world with my secretary without worrying about what could happen to my family. What man does this ? He asked. 

\- Oliver you left for a very valid reason that I cannot explain to you but as soon as you remember why you had to flee the city it will make more sense to you. Besides, I want you to know that you have never slept with your secretary, she said. 

\- How can you know ? It's my style to put aside my obligations and sleep with women, he said bitterly.

\- Ollie was the kind of man you talk about... He was the man who got on the Gambit .. But you're no longer that man Oliver .. All the time you've been away from the Queen Consolidated was used wisely, I promise you, she said wanting to reassure him. 

It was nice to know that he hadn't gone back to his old ways, but it still didn't explain what he was doing with his time or why he couldn't remember it. And if the woman he heard in his head wasn't his secretary. Who was she ? He would think about it later, for the moment he wanted to know what problems was Felicity in.

\- I know you lied to me earlier, that you weren't watching a movie. What trouble are you in ? I can try to solve them with you. Even if I don't remember the last two years, I think I have resources to help you, he says. 

The guilty look on his face was the only answer he needed, Oliver reached out for hers, staring at her intently, he could see regret there for not being able to say anything to him and always this expression that he couldn't decipher. Felicity approached him to shake his hand his body reacted immediately, chills running through him.

\- If you knew how I want to tell you everything Oliver, but the doctor says that it could prevent you from regaining your memory if we feed you too much information and I don't want to risk losing you forever, she said staring at him intently. 

Oliver kept his gaze anchored to his for a moment, he could see a myriad of emotions inside, regrets, fear, tenderness. Could it be possible that Felicity is the voice in his head. He closed the eyes wishing so much for answers to his questions when when a sentence came again _**"Why she ...? Apart from his long slender legs of a model .. This happened, didn't mean anything."** _ When he opened them again he hoped deep inside that these fleeting memories were those with the young woman. 

He didn't know why he was thinking of such a thing but it was what he wanted. He got up from the couch and squeezed her hand gently, explaining that he was going to bed now. Felicity watched him go as he started to leave the room. 

\- You don't have to never doubt that you are a good man Oliver, the person who left on the boat never returned, a better man replaced him. I promise we will do everything to make sure you remember it too, she said with a smile.

He nodded, but said nothing as he left the living room to go to his bedroom. Oliver didn't not remember his relationship with Felicity, but he was starting to realize that he didn't know if he could live without her now. He could also see that she seemed to be holding back from his contact, he felt that there was more than what she was telling him. 

He realized that he had to be able to make her feel more relaxed in his presence to learn what exactly linked them to each other. To find out if it was his voice that he heard more and more often in his head. Maybe if he was lucky. he would wake up with more memory tomorrow morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver continues to hear voices...He learns something that makes him suffer...And realizes something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping that you can continue to understand this story, I send you the fourth chapter. Good reading.

It had been a week since Oliver had woken up, disoriented and with large swathes of his memory erased, he still hadn't recovered them but the sentences had appeared the first few days to disappear completely. The last time he heard a voice in his head, it had greatly disturbed him, it was after he had looked at the news about a group of drug traffickers Vertigo.

But what surprised him even more was that unlike previous times it wasn't the voice of a woman but that of a man. _**" Felicity ! He was holding you, he was going to hurt you, there was no choice to be made. "**_ He had screamed when he opened the eyes, understanding that the young woman who had been near him for several days had been removed once. This realization had made him angry and a fear of losing the young woman had crept into his heart. Since then he only had nightmares of a man who kidnapped Felicity and tool the young woman away from him.

When Felicity had come running towards him in a panic, he had decided to lie to her too, and not to tell her that he had been hearing voices for a while. When she had asked him what had happened, he had explained that he had experienced severe pain in the head, but that it had subsided. Since that famous evening he had been trying to understand what all these sentences that had passed in his head meant and if they were related to Felicity. And what he had realized was that during the two years, that he had forgotten, Felicity had almost died, and just thinking abaut this fact, his heart had frozen.

This morning he was in his room on his bed thinking he might have answers from Tommy, he knew he wouldn't lie to him, they had know each other for too long. He called his best friend's cell phone first, but was surprised to hear that the number didn't exist. Then he decided to call the manor to ask him to meet him somewhere. But he was surprised again because the voice on the phone had the same answer as Tommy's cell phone. He no longer understood anything. Would Tommy have moved during the last two years of which he had no memory ? He left his room so he could ask Felicity if she knew where Tommy lived. It was impossible that he hadn't introduced his best friend to him. Felicity had to have the answers compared to Tommy. He found her in the living room watching television.

\- Felicity ! Can you say me where Tommy lives ? I tried his cell phone and the manor house number but he two numbers seem to no longer exist, he asked.

The young woman felt her chest tighten at his question. Of course she knew the new home of his best friend, the cemetery of Starling City. She thought of several lies to hide the truth. If she claimed Tommy was on a trip, Oliver would tell him that he would have had no trouble reaching him on his cell phone, which wasn't the case for a logical reason. Tommy Merlyn had been dead for a year. She got up, a pain slowly creeping into her stomach, she didn't want to be the one to tell him the loss of his best friend.

How could she announce to the man she loved, that the one he had know since childhood was dead. That Malcolm Merlyn had wanted to raze an entire part of the city to avenge the death oh his murdered wife years ago ? And That in this madness, he had killed his own son.

\- The fact that you take so long to answer me means that something is happening. Felicity ! Where Tommy is ?

She looked at him and her heart sank in pain knowing that she couldn't admit to him the death of Tommy, the doctor was firm on it. In no case,she shouldn't reveal memories of his life during the last two years that he had lost. She moved gently towards him, took his hand and led him to the couch. For a few seconds, they kept their eyes fixed on each other before the young woman decided to talk to him.

\- Oliver ! I know you would like me to tell you avout your life during these two years but...I can't, it could make your condition worse, she said.

\- Tommy is my best friend. Felicity you can tell me why I can't contact him anymore, he replied shaking his hand encouraging her to talk to him.

\- I'm so sorry Oliver...I can't...You're going to suffer, she said tears appearing in the corners of her eyes.

Oliver noticed right away that she was really upset that she could'nt tell him what was happening, when he saw the tears running down her cheeks, he let go of his hand starting to realize that it was really serious. He didn't want to think about the worst for Tommy, then for the first time since he woke up he had a flash. He saw Laurel in a cemetery, getting up to go to a coffin and start a speech he should have made since the priest called his name at the start. 

_**"Tommy Merlyn was one of the most wonderful men I have ever met. He was someone deeper than his playboy image showed."**_ Oliver could see himself under a tree with his hands in his pockets listening her made to praise his best friend's funeral. He saw himself turn back and leave the cemetery. And there he understood what Felicity was hiding from him. He felt a rage invade him, she had dared to say nothing to him. If they were really friends, she must have know what Tommy meant to him. 

\- How could you hide from me that my best friend died ! he shouted. 

\- You...Did you remember ?, she asked.

\- Yes ! I just remembered burying my best friend, he yelled. Why ! Why did you hide this from me Felicity ?

\- The doctor doesn't want you to...

\- Stop with your bullshit Felicity. If we were really friends, you wouldn't have hidden such a thing from me. Tommy was like my brother since our five years.

\- Stop howling !! What the hell did you want damn it ! , I admit you this bad news all at once, that you lost your best friend and...

He didn't hear the end of his words, his head started to beat again, it hadn't happened to him for several days. He put his hands on his temples wishing to make the excruciating pain go away. _**"I keep my promises kid !!"**_

Felicity who saw him suffer, positioned himself in front of the sofa facing him, stroked his hair and his beard to soothe him. Without her having time to do anything, Oliver grabbed her by the waist and pressed her against his chest, asking her not to leave, not to leavec him. She assured him that she would always be present with him. They remained in this position for few minutes. Oliver felt the pain move away and he could finally breathe normally.

He released the young woman slowly, he stared at her and an irresistible urge to kiss him crossed his mind. He was going through so many emotions in his presence, anger, envy, desire, passion. But he resented her for not having told her anything about Tommy, he wanted her to leave him alone. His emotions were so contradictory towards this woman.

\- You should go to bed Oliver. I'm going to call the doctor to receive you as soon as possible, she said.

\- You should have told me the truth about Tommy, Felicity. I should be mad at you for hiding this fact from me, but I can't do it because I know you didn't do it to hurt me.

\- But you're still hurt. I feel so bad about myself Oliver. I didn't want you to suffer but you're right, I should have told you about it. I'll answer your questions.

\- I think I have to stop wanting to find my memories. I can not bear this pain anymore, he said cutting her.

Felicity understood what he meant, she couldn't bear to see him suffer so much. She accompanied him to his room where he went to bed after swallowing the pills that Felicity handed him. When she left the romm leaving him alone, he thought of the voice he had heard. It looked familiar, but he couldn't locate it at any time in his life.

What he knew was that during this crisis, the pain had been much stronger than the others. What he also realized was that losing Felicity was impossible for him, even if he didn't understand why he felt this feeling.

#####################################

Oliver got up this morning glad that the pain had completely disappeared, he had luch with Felicity who informed him that they had an appointement with Dr Andrews in a few hours to take tests and to know if the swelling of his brain had completely disappeared. They arrived at the hospital and climbed into the elevator, Oliver glanced at the young woman by his side as that the device was going up the floors to the level where the doctor's office was located.

He thought she must be happy to finally be able to leave her apartment after being locked up there for a week with a man who didn't remember her or their connection. Who was yelling at her because she couldn't tell him anything about the two missing years of her life. During this week spent in her house, he happened, some nights, to go his room and hear her speak like the first time.

The next day he was trying to question her on the subject, but each time she avoided the question, directing him towards something else like asking him if he was interested in watching a movie with her. He wanted so much to help her with his problems but didn't know how to encourage her to confide.

\- Thanks for coming with me, he said, breaking the uncomfortable silence in the elevator.

\- I think we both had to get out of my house. I can't bear anymore that we were disputing. I understand your need to know, but you also have to understand that I want to protect you so you don't suffer too much, says she watching the elevator figures scroll.

It was so hard for her to see him so frustrated not being able to remember the past two years. She wanted so much to help him understand that what he had forgotten was what he made of him the wonderful man se loved. Felicity had tried to help the rest of the team at home as much as possible. But it got more and more complicated every evening. Since that first night, when Oliver had entered his room, she had the impression that he watched her. She often heard him to walk in the hallway, stop outside his bedroom door for a moment, then return to his own bedroom.

Diggle had told her that somewhere in his subconscious, Oliver knew he was supposed to be ther to help. Felicity came out of her thoughts and let out a small sigh, looking at Oliver out the corner of the eye, she saw that he could no longer bear the situation. She ran her hand over his arm, wanting to relieve him but Oliver quickly grabbed her, hugging her in his, he looked down his gaze in his and she had the impression for a few seconds that he wanted to go into his subconscious to know all to his memory loss.

\- I'm so sorry for yesterday and...

The elevator rang, signaling their arrival, stopping Oliver in what he wanted so say. Turning the head towards the doors that opened, he cut their intense connection, but he kept the young woman's hand in his as they left the cabin. He looked around and realized that he had no idea where he was supposed to go having been in a room during his stay the last time he came to the hopital.

He was pissed off against himself, he had no memories, forced a wonderful woman to put his life aside to take care of him, he felt loke he was going to explode in frustration. Felicity smiled at him knowing that he was beginning to no longer bear being dependent on another person, she gestured to him in the direction they had to go. They arrived in front of the doctor's office who invited them into his office. Oliver waited politely for Felicity to enter first, he followed her closing the door.

\- Miss Smoak warned me that you suffered a lot last night ? Do you know what started this crisis ?, asked Dr Andrews.

Oliver settled into his chair and struggled against the urge to get up and pace the room to relax. He had been so well in this elevator with Felicity, holding his hand, that he wanted to leave the room taking her with him to find the peace that had surrounded him. Thinking about Dr Andrews's question, he wondered if he should talk about what was going on in his head, those voices he heard. Turning his face towards the young woman by his side, realizing that he hadn't said anything to her yet, he preferred to be silent so as not to worry her even more.

\- We were arguing when the crisis came, I learned that my best friend died. I yelled on Felicity for not telling me, then suddenly the pain came stronger than usual, he says.

\- Have you had any flashes of the accident, of your life during these two lost years ?, asked the doctor.

\- Besides the flash seeing me in a cemetery, which made me understand that Tommy was dead, no I don't remember anything else. And it starts to get more and more frustrated for me. I can't bear this memory loss anymore, he says.

\- I understand, said the doctor.

\- I don't think, Dr Andrews. Two years of my life have disappeared and I need to recover them, Oliver's voice became hard and he grabbed the two armrests to calm down.

\- I understand your frustration, but amnesia problems are so random, they can last a month or several years, there is no exact science as to how long your memories will return. We're going to do another scanner today so I can see if the swelling in your brain has gone completely, says the doctor.

\- Do you at least know what is happening to me ? Why I can't remember that I lost the man I considered my brother ? And surely other things as important, asked Oliver angrily.

\- There are different types of amnesia but I think that for you, Mr. Queen, you have what is called selective amnesia, he replied.

Felicity realized that Diggle had understood what was happening to Oliver, the vigilante wanted to protect himself by forgetting a trauma. The only on she thought of was the death of her mother, he couldn't bear not having been able to save her, he wanted to forget this moment forever. 

\- What does that mean exactly ?, asked Oliver, not understanding this medical gibberish.

\- Unconsciously your brain wanted to forget an important life trauma that happened to you recently, says the doctor.

Oliver turned to Felicity who was clasping his hands together, he saw that she had tensed while the doctor spoke and realized that she knew what Dr Andrews meant. She knew exactly what he had wanted to forget but didn't tell him. Why did he wonder inwardly ? Getting angry for the second time, he stared at her and spoke to her in a harsh voice. 

\- What is this trauma in my life, that I want at all costs forget Felicity ? What is this mystery that you have been hiding from me since I woke up ?, he said his jaw twitching as he looked at her, his eyes turned black with anger.

Felicity's chest tightened and she ran her hand over Oliver's arm trying to calm him down. She slipped her hand into his, crossed their fingers together hoping he wouldn't pus her away. When he did nothing she was relieved. She felt awful that she couldn't telle him anything. Bu how to explain to him that since his return from the island, he had had a mission entrusted by his father, before he shoots himself in the head.

That his job and duty was to cleanse the city of men corrupted by power and money. That his father's best friend had wanted to destroy the city which had caused the death of his best friend Tommy who had accused him of being a murderer. That he had seen a monster from his past kill his mother in front of him. That his sister was also Tommy's sister. 

When she looked up, filled with sadness and regret at him, Oliver immediately calmed down and blamed himself for having gotten so angry, frustration, anger overwhelming him again, he had promised himself the day before not to yell at her anymore.

\- I'm sorry I screamed but I can't bear not to remember what I have done since my return to the island, not to remember you. Who are you for me ? Are we friends, lovers ? I feel such a connection between us, he says.

Felicity felt her heart beat as she listened to him ask her without having to spell things out if he was in love whit her. But the young woman knew ther was no chance that he could feel more than frienship to her. Felicity had seen him several times have lunch or dinner with their friend Laurel Lance. Since she knew his secret, the young lawyer was more present in her life, as if knowing who was the real Oliver, had finally erased all the anger she had felt against him since his return. She couldn't lie to him, and make him believe that they had a romantic relationship before his amnesia, that wouldn't be correct on her part.

\- We're good friends Oliver and I swear if I could...

\- If too much information is introduced at the same time and you cannot manage it, your body will try to protect itself as yesterday evening Mr. Queen. You may lose more memories fo trying to force your brain to remember. It's important that you let your memory come back on its own, replied Dr Andrews.

\- Okay ! I'll try to be more patient, he said.

\- Why don't we start these tests ? I have to check that the swelling dissipates, your friend can wait for us here, he replied.

\- You're going to wait for me, aren't you ?, he asked softly.

\- As I already told you, I'm not leaving you, Oliver...Pass your scanner, I'll always be there when you come back, she replied.

Oliver squeezed Felicity's hand as he stood up but reluctantly let go of her, he gave her a smile before following the doctor to the door. Felicity sent him a shy smile back as she watched him fo out with the doctor, his chest compressing. She hated seeing Oliver so upset and knowing ther was nothing to do, she felt so helpless in the face of the situation.

She sighed and leaned in her seat, she was so afraid, when the memories will come back, that he would blame her, that she had hidden from him that he was a vigilante who fought crime at night. She was worried that he would never forgve her for having hidden this important point in his life. Their argument yesterday had shown him that he would be very angry when his memories came back. She was afraid that he would decide to get rid of her after his memory had returned because he would no longer trust her because of his lies.

##########################################

Oliver hadn't really slept that night, he still blamed himself for screaming twice on Felicity two days ago. He knew she was sincere, she wanted to telle him the truth, but feared that he would lose his memory forever. He was so frutrated to learn to had voluntarily forgotten those two years so as not to remember a traumatic event during that time. 

All night he had asked himself the same question over and over. What an event had touched him too emotionnaly for him to decide to forget everything about his life after his return from the island. The doctor had asked him not to force the memories but what to do when he still heard that voice, he knew it was his memory that was doing everything to come back but something was blocking this return, he thought. The last time he had heard that voice was last night, he was in living room watching the news. A man burglarized the banks and the policeman on the screen spoke to the reporter.

\- We're ready to finally to stop him. It stops tonight.

He felt the pain coming, he concentrated on channeling it so that it didn't prevent him this time from hearing what was going to happen. _**" I don't accept that. You shouldn't either Oliver."**_ Then as if by magic the pain had disappeared. He had clenched his fists in frustration. All thes sentences which he didn't understand but which came from the same person.

Why couldn't he remember ? The swelling was almost gone, Dr Andrews had been told. He realized that he had to leave Starling City, escape from this place to put aside his problems. In addition he wanted to please Felicity after his behavior with her recently. He wanted to make her happy and thank her for putting her personal and professional life aside to take care of him. But most of all he hoped that being in another city would help him understand this connection between them and perhaps help him remember his life.

He first called the doctor wishing to have his medical authorization to make such a long trip, not knowing if taking the plane was likely to make his brain swell again when the swelling was almost gone. Then not knowing if he had a personal fortune or not because of the fall of the family empire, he called the bank to find out the amount of funds he had left. He spent the day organizing everything, using Felicity's phone to make a special call.

\- Hi Mr Diggle, it's Oliver Queen. I need you to do me a favor.

He listened to the other man who was also part of this mystery that Felicity was hiding, but he felt that he could trust him for his request, that he would keep the surprise without revealing anything to the young woman. He hung up happy that what had planned would fall into place.

He prepared what he needed, dined with Felicity, gave her the impression of going to bed early. After a few hours he returned to her room and could see that she was sleeping peacefully. Without making any noise, he prepared her suitcase feeling embarrassed when he opened the drawer of his underwear. He quickly left the room, continuing to prepare his plan.

##############################

Felicity stretched, she felt a slight shiver run down her spine, she looked for the blanket but felt nothing around her. She opened her eyes, rubbed them to erase the last remnants of sleep, reached out the grab her glasses but found nothing but emptiness. She got up understand why she couln't find her glasses, she saw blur but immediately understood that she was no longer in her room. Where the helle was she ? 

She dropped her feet to the floor, stood up, and looked around for a clue. Looking around where she was, she quickly understood that she was on a plane, she didn't know why or how, but considering the portholes that showed her the clouds, she was sure that she was no longer on earth. 

\- Oh my god !! Why I end up on a plane ?, she shouted.

Oliver who had asked for a coffee for his friend, heard Felicity screaming. He asked the flight attendant to bring them the drinks, then turned to join the young woman in the cabin. 

\- Felicity are you all right ?, he asked.

\- Why I end up on a plane Oliver ? How did I get on this plane ? I would remember if I got on a plane...I slept in my bed and I wake up several mile above the clouds...And I babble again, it will stop in three...Two...One, she said shocked by the news of being on a plane.

Oliver smiled when he heard the young woman's babbling, it was a trait of character he liked about her. Sharp pain was felt before a new, mysterious phrase crossed his mind. _**"But he died he drowned, but not you, that's why you were able to come to my department to hear my babbling, which will stop in three...two...one. My computer is damaged and I was told that you are the person that we had to come and see."**_

Eveything stopped suddenly, the pain, the moment he had just heard. He thought about what had just been said when he realized that the end of the sentence in his head was the same as what Felicity had just said. He looked up the young woman and everything became clear. What he heard from the start was related to her, it was moments spent in his company. But he still couldn't coordinate his discoveries not understanding where and when these moments had passed. He preferred not to tell her anything and let her take advantage of surprise he had concocted for her.

\- You're on a plane because we're on a trip. I couldn't stand being in your apartment anymore but I didn't want to leave without warning you and I didn't want to leave alone so I took you with me, he says.

\- And how did I get on this plane without even waking up ?, she asked.

\- I carried you to your friend John Diggle's car. And maybe I put a little sleeping pill in your glass at dinner. I suspected that if you woke up before our departure you would refuse to come...And I want you to be present with me, he said.

Felicity raised an eyebrow very surprised by his response. Oliver who saw his gaze realized what he had just said when he himself didn't remember what she meant to him, even if he had these few memories that resurfaced. All he knews was that he liked being in her company, it relieved him, kept him from going crazy.

\- Doctor's orders don't forget, I mustn't be alone, he thought.

Felicity opened her mouth to respond when the plane entered a zone of turbulence and she fell into Oliver's arm, not having the reflex to stand at armchair. He easily caught up whit her, stabilizing her against him, one hand resting on his back while the other held the armchair.

\- I'm holding you, don't worry, he said holding her while the plane was shaking around them.

The plane straightened abruptly and he hugged her closer to him, she grabbed his arm as the plane trembled again, she swallowed being a little scared. Oliver who held her tightly against him felt his curves against his chest, his hand that was on his waist went down to her hips, his desire for her manifested. To distract himself from the sensations she was giving him, he raised her face and their eyes met, he knew she had beautiful eyes but seeing them so closely without the glasses barrier, he noticed that they were a blue ocean and wanted to drown inside.

\- Where are you taking us ?, she asked, trying not to think about the fact that she was against Oliver who was hugging her and that the plane was experiencing turbulence which could cause them to crash onto the ground.

\- We're leaving for New-York, I reserved a suite at the Marriot Marquis in Time Square.

\- Oliver you lost your fortune. How are you going to pay for all this ?, she says.

\- I have my secrets too Miss Smoak, he said with a smile.

\- You don't have to do all of this to show me that you're sorry for our arguments...I understand them Oliver.

\- I want you to think of something other than my amnesia. Have you ever been to New-York ?, he said staring at her.

He didn't know much about her life in Starling City since she stubbornly refused to tell her on thing because of the doctor's rearks, but he knew this week must have been harder for her, than she wanted him say. Living with someone you knew but who had no memories of you didn't have to be easy to manage every day. 

He knew they were going to land in a few minutes having asked the flight attendant how much flight time was left before Felicity yelled. He should probably tell her to go back in his armchair, but he didn't want to let go. He still didn't understand their connection but he knew on thing, this woman made him feel a lot, his body woke up every time he touched her. He was brought out of his thoughts by the voice of Felicity.

\- Why did you want me to be with you Oliver ? Really, she asked.

\- I just wanted to be with you somewhere other than your home, he replied. 

Felicity leaned her head to the side as she raised her hand and pressed it against his chest without realizing his gesture, then she was spinning her head towards the view which was offered to her wondering if during this trip Oliver would find his memory. If she were to take advantage of these few days, who would be maybe, the last ones with him.

Oliver kept his eyes on her face as she looked at the clouds, he could feel that she was starting to relax in his presence. They both needed to relax and think about something other than his memory loss. Maybe after a few days, he couls finally make her say what he had forgotten during those two years. He convinced that she was the key to his memories.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip to New-York is going well for Oliver and Felicity, they become closer, even if the young woman tries to keep its distance, knowing that it's Oliver's memory loss that makes him act, like this, towards her. Again, Oliver learns a bad new.

A car was wainting for them at the airport to take them to the Marriott Marquis, Felicity knew this city, having come once, years ago but being so young, she hadn't paid attention to everything around her. But today she could finally do it. When they got back in the vehicle, she stuck to the door and looked out the Window the entire time of the trip. They passed through several districts of New-York, then through the Flushing Meadow Corona Park with its Flushing Meadow tennis court, The Unisphere, the spherical stainless steel representation of the Earth.

Then they crossed Mapeth one of the districts of Queens which made her smile while thinking on the name of the man at her side in the car. They crossed the East River to finally arrive at Time Square with their legendary illuminated billboards. It was ewactly where his father had taken them withe his mother during the last vacation they had spent together. 

When the car stopped in front of the establishment lit by large overhead lights, Feliciy was dazzled by the front of the hotel, for a Las Vegas girl who was used to flashiness, the wealth displayed everywhere whith the Casino hotels of her city, she realized that she could still be astonished, in view of the excess that this hotel used to impress its customers. A valet opened the door for her while a luggage porter took the suitcases out of the trunk to place them on a cart.

Oliver placed a hand behind her back and led her to revolving doors of the hotel, they found themselves in the hall with the check-in counters on their left and opposite she could see the elevator cabs which took customers to their rooms, like a rocket takes you into the sky.

A bellboy motioned for them to follow them pushing their luggage into the cart, when they got into the elevator, she turned her head and could see the whole entrance hall through the bay windows. Not liking the heights, she shivered, as the cabin began to climb, Oliver placed his arm had around her waist, to reassure her by making her feel that she wasn't risking anything and that he was present by her side.

They then arrived in their hotel room, Felicity hurried to go to the large picture window to look at the view that overlooked Time Square. She was so taken by this one she didn't pay attention to the departure of the employee. To see all these people downstairs who stopped to contemplate all these luminous posters, yellow taxis and buses taking their customers to hotels or see a play on Broadway, who was not far away, fascinated her.

In general in Las Vegas, the moment when there were so many people going out in the street it was to look at the fountains of the Bellagio. The rest of the time, the tourists were in the casinos, here the crowd was always in the streets. She hadn't been in such a hotel with her parents during her first visit to Time Square. For a moment memories of this trip came back to her, but the pain of what had happened then clouded the memory of a time when she was so happy, as every time she thought about it.

A few weeks after his perfect family moment, his father had abandoned them, his mother and she, leaving them to fend for themselves, forcing the only parent left, to toil for hours as a waitress in the casinos to put a meal on the table every night.

She came out of her gloomy thoughts when she felt Oliver put his hand on his back, which made her feel thousands of tingling from his shoulders to his feet because of what his touch felt on her. They decided they would have dinner in the hotel restaurant before walking around the neighborhood looking at all the lights that were shining.

Felicity didn't have the courage to tell him that she didn't want to visit this district again, reminding her of a bad mermory. Oliver didn't remember some aspects of his life, she should just to take it upon herself. And then being in the company of the man she loved could perhaps erase this bad memory.

Oliver was looking foward to spending time with Felicity in a setting that had nothing to do with his selective amnesia, his appartment or all the secrets she kept to protect him. Felicity bit her lower lip while looking ar herself in the bathroom mirror as she prepared for their evening. She knew it would have nothing to do with a romantic evening, just two friends, even if on couldn't remember, who were passing time together.

But ever since she had awake on the plane, she had doubts about the trip and was beginning to think that it wasn't really a good idea to be in this hotel with him. Indeed she had noticed that Oliver was different with her, more attentive, more tactile too, all because he had no memory of their partnership. Whereas since that famous night in the manor, Oliver had been distant.

This new behaviour made her unconfortable and made her sad to know that when he regained his memory, he would be distant again, like before. She could go see him and tell him that she didn't want to go out, that would be the best idea. But Oliver had put together this whole plan to make her happy because he tought she had stopped living to care for him. She then decided to spend these few days in his company, it would always leave him with memories to remember when he would become the Oliver from before.

She grabbed her short golden dress with the slit at the thigh, without back, and a pair of golden stilettos. She went to shower and took the time to get ready, she put on her dress and slipped in his heels. She let her curly hair fall behind her back, put on make-up, then looked at herself in the mirror one last time, before returning to the bedroom and joining the living room where her partner was waiting for her.

Oliver turned around at the sound of footsteps, his breath cutting in front of him, she was really beautiful in this dress. He had found her cute before but dressed this way she looked like a goddess. He couldn't stop his gaze from contemplating her, starting with his feet locked in heels that lenghened her legs even more. Then he looked up at her voluptuous hips, her slim waist, her cleavage which suggested a small but beautiful chest. 

He knew he shouldn't look at it that way, she said they were just friends, but his eyes didn't seem to want to leave her. The pain manifested and he knew that a moment between them was going to pass in his head _**" Do you think what would happen if he left with your family jewels ? "**_. He smiled, some sentences really didn't make sense to him, but that comforted him that there was more to their friendship than she wanted to say.

He approached her, took her elbow and they left the room without saying a word, Oliver so wrapped up in the feelings that he felt in the presence of this magnificent woman. They entered the View restaurant, a waitress came to greet them and accompanied them to their table which gave a perfect view of Time Square with its theaters, its movie theater, its light posters running advertisements all the time. They ordered quickly and then stood there for a moment without speaking, Oliver continuing to stare at her. After several minutes he decided to start the conversation wishing to know more about the life of the woman who made him feel a lot of feelings.

\- Can you tell me more about yourself, without revealing what I can't remember for myself ? He said, grabbing her hand realizing that he had done it spontaneously as if it were a gesture that he used to do.

\- I love computers since I was a child, I built my first computer at the age of seven, I got it from my father. My mother is the opposite of me and our relationship is quite complicated, I only see her very rarely, she replied while stroking his hand with her thumb without realizing it.

Like everything about this woman, Oliver couldn't say why he felt chills at his touch, but he decided that for the moment he should ignore all these sensations. 

\- I trusted you by naming you the person for the medical decisions...Do I trust you for everything that concerns me ?, he asked.

\- Yes...The same way I trust uou with my life, she replied staring at him.

Oliver had understood since he woke up that he shared a bond with Felicity, and even if he didn't remember her, he knew that this bond was reinforced thanks to the trust they had in each other. But he wondered if this bond was more than that, if love had also strenghened it.

\- I know you can't tell me anything about my life in those two years that I forgot but I still wonder what I was doing during my time away from business, he says.

\- What you do is important. You help the people who need it most, she said shaking his hand.

Oliver realized that it was the first time that she had given him an honest answer without detour, without thinking if she coul admit this information or not. Which meant that she relaxed by being less defensive, then as if she had realized what she had just answered, she started to come off but he squeezed her hand preventing her from letting go.

He decided to stop asking her questions, all he wanted for the moment was to spend a wonderful evening with this magnificent woman. Discovering her, learning more about her, watching her all evening was alle he wanted for tonight. They continued to chat during the meal, the young woman revealing herself a little more to Oliver, he realized she was very intelligent, besides being beautiful.

He wondered how two people completely opposite each other could be friends, and close enough if he had understood correctly. Putting these new questions aside, he paid the bill and then stood up, took the young woman's hand while continuing to contemplate it, again feeling the chills run through him when their hands were joined.

They walked down the street looking at all of those light panels while continuing to chat, Oliver confiding in his relationship with Laurel before leaving for the Gambit. At one point they saw several people arrested to watch something happening on the sidewalk. They stepped forward and could see that a group was preparing to give a street performance. Oliver found a place front for Felicity to take advantage of, but he felt her tense so he stood next to her.

\- Something is wrong Felicity ?, he asked.

\- When I came with my parents when I was young, we also stopped to watch a street show like this one, before my father abandoned us and my mother had to work so that I didn't lack for anything, said she sadly.

\- I'm sorry Felicity, we can go , I don't want you to feel sad, he replied.

\- No it's ok Oliver, somehow coming here with you may erase this bad memory, she said smiling at him.

Oliver kept his gaze in his as he raised his hand to his lips and gently kissed his knuckles. It was the first time since they had lived together that he had undertaken such gestures, but he needed to hang on to her like a lifeline. She was his anchor for not going crazy. Felicity couldn't stop her heart rate from racing at the feel of her lips on her fingers, it was getting harder and harder to hide her feelings for him.

She withdrew her hand from hers and stepped back a little wishing to put space between them, but more and more people arrived which forced Oliver to pull Felicity against her chest so that she wasn't injured. Felicity couldn't hide the shiver that went down her spine at her soft, so protective touch. Oliver felt her shiver, he took off his suit jacket, thinking she was cold, wrapped it around her shoulders leaving his hands on them. 

The show started and the young woman turned her attention to the musicians and dancers who wiggled for the joy of the walkers. Felicity started to move to the sound of music, then her hands started to beat the beat. She loved contemporry dance, and these dancers were very talented, she thought. She would have thought she would be sad to come back to this city which had left her one of her father's last memories. But to have Oliver so considerate, holding her to reassure her made her almost forget her father's bad memory abandoning them with his mother.

Oliver felt Felicity begin to move his body against him as she danced to the rhythm of the music, he felt his buttocks pass several times against an area of his body which began to become animated by the frictions he received. He decided to free himself from behind her so as not find himself in a embarrassing position, he gently stroked his back lowering his arm around Felicity's waist moving a little to the side to have the opportunity to contemplate his face while she was watching the show.

He didn't want the bad memory of his father's departure tarnishes his first time in New York in so long. He wasn't sure why it mattered so much to see her happy. Why he was so protective of her. He kept his gaze solely on her, in no way focusing on the show. Without realizing her gesture, so happy with the evening she spent with Oliver, Felicity put her hand on the chest of the man she loved, approaching even closer to him. 

Oliver put his hand on hers, hugging her to show her that she wasn't alone. He could see that his eyes were shining with the show she was watching, it made him happy that his grief didn't come to tarnish this new adventure. Felicity felt the chills run through her again, she tried not to show Oliver what this simple gesture had given her. She remained silent for a minute before finding her voice as a smile spread over hers lips. 

\- And if we continue our walk, I want to see eveything from Time Square, she said with a bright smile. 

Oliver wrapped his arm around her and gently pushed her away from the spectators who were still clapping. He gave her a big smile happy to see her so happy, to have been able to remove this bad memory from her head replacing it with a better one. He was captivated by this smile, it was like a light from a lighthouse which lit the way of the travelers, he was sure that if he stayed with Felicity, she would light the way back to his memories.

####################################

Oliver stood in front of the open windows, the morning sun relecting in the windows of tall buildings in the Time Square neighborhood. It had been three days since that him and Felicity had arrived in New-York and although his memory showed no signs of improvement, Oliver was happy to have taken those few days away from it all. But he became frustrated again with his lack of memory. 

When he heard the young woman come out of the bathroom he indicated the table where their breakfast enthroned, for several minutes they didn't speak, just tasting what was in front of them, until Oliver spoke at last. 

\- Felicity we have to talk, I can't go on living like this, he said softly.

The young woman's chest tightened at his words and she pursed her lips as this familiar feeling of fear invaded her stomach. She had known that this happiness in New-York would only be fleeting, but she would have liked it to continue a little longer. She remained silent for a minute before meeting his gaze waiting for him to explain that he no longer wanted her to be present with him.

\- I will not bear to wait for my memory to come back on its own Felicity, especially since it is not sure that my memory will return one day.

\- I know that you can't stand the situation anymore, but what you are missing, these two years, are an important turning point in your life, and this doesn't only concern yours but so many other people, she said, placing his hand on his. 

\- I can't wait Felicity ! I don't want that this mystery that seems to rule my whole life to resurface in a month, a year, or even more. I need answers right away and I know you would like to tell me but your are afraid for me. But I have to find myself in a place that seems familiar to me so that the memories come back, he says. 

\- Don't you feel comfortable with me in my apartment ?, she asked.

\- I like spending my time with you, in your house or here, but I have to find the people I remember to help me remember, he says.

\- What are you trying to tell me Oliver ?, she asked.

\- I want to be with my mother and Thea...I know they are traveling but I need my family with me to heal. Do you know if we can contact them to ask them to come back, to teach them about my accident and my memory loss ?, he asked.

Felicity remained silent for a minute feeling her heart compress again, he wanted to find people who were no longer present in his life, his sister, his mother. Maybe she sould tell him the truth about of Moira and Thea. If the trauma had just seen her mother die by Slade's hands, maybe his memory would come back. She just hoped that she wouldn't make things worse for him and that he wouldn't sink further into his selective amnesia.

\- Oliver, I'm going to...I have to...It's so hard to tell you, I don't want tou to suffer.

\- Felicity just tell me what it is. You sound like the oher day to tell me that I had lost Tommy,, he replied.

She looked at him intensely, calling on all the strength he could give her to tell him the rerrible news that had already made him suffer so much a few months ago. 

\- I have to tell you that I can't do what you want Oliver. If I could change things and go back to the past to change what happened I would do it right away, she said, tears piling up on the corners of her eyes.

\- Fe.li.ci.ty, he says cutting her.

\- Your mother is dead Oliver, Killed by a monster before the eyes of you and your sister. I'm so sorry, I wanted you to remember it by yourself.

\- No...No...You say anything. My mother is wainting for me in Starling City..God no, it's not possible, he said crying.

Felicity approached him and wrapped his arms around his neck, Oliver grabbed her by the waist, hugging her, placing his face in the crook of his shoulder and wept again for the loss of his mother of whom he had no memory.

\- I'm here. I'll always be there for your, said Felicity.

Oliver pulled away from her suddenly and knelt down placing his hands on his temples the pain in his head as strong as the last time. _**" There is still one person who must die before we are finished."**_ It was still the threatening voice of man he had before heard. Was he the monster who kidnapped Felicity and killed her mother ? The pain intensified more and more to think of this man what made him stagger and then pass out. When Oliver opened his eyes he could see that he was on the carpet in the hotel room and that Felicity was above him, his eyes still filled with regret ond infinite sadness. 

\- You feel better, you scared me, I almost called 911 Oliver.

\- The pain is gone, it was very strong this time but I feel better now, he said getting up while seated.

\- Do you remember what we were talking about before we lost consciousness, she asked cautiously.

\- Unfortunately, yes Felicity...What will you tell me now, that I also lost my little sister, he sais ironically.

\- Thea is fine, as good as you can go when you've lost your mother. But she really goes around the world. I promise you.

Oliver was relieved not to have lost his little sister, he didn't understand what could have pushed this man to kill his mother, then what words meant. And who owned this voice, he felt a little pain again, so he decided to stop thinking about this for the moment. 

\- You don't remember what happened to your mother ? Is not it ?, she says.

\- If you ask if my memories are back, the answer is no...I still want to be in a familiar place, even if the people I know are no longer present, I want to go back to my family's mansion, said he, getting up feeling more stable.

Felicity thought of Laurel, maybe she could help him recover temporarily the manor. She helped Oliver sit on a chair and asked him to wait a moment, that she had to make a call. She returned to the living-room ten minutes later with a smile on her lips, Oliver again felt this feeling of jealousy. Who had she called to put such a beautiful smile on his lips ? Did a man have his heart ? His head beat again and he felt anger surrounding him. He took several small breaths to calm down and control this untimely pain.

\- You will be able to leave my town hous and return to the manor, Laurel can stay to be sure that nothing happens to you. You must not be alone, doctor's order, she said feeling her chest compress knowing than being with his ex-girlfriend would surely bring them closer.

\- You want to get rid of me because you can't bear anymore that I don't remember you, said Oliver without being able to restrain the words from his lips.

\- What ! No ! I want to continue helping you but you said that you wanted to be surrounded by people you knew...which isn't my case...And then I thought it was rather you who was fed up with my presence, she said calmly.

Oliver reached out and placed his hand on his, he smiled at his babbling, she was the only person he trusted, but it was much more than that. Oliver loved Felicity's company and he liked being around her. Besides, she had been honest about her mother knowing that it could have serious consequences to admit to him thad he had lost her. She understood him to a level that he wasn't sur anyone else could do, let alone Laurel, he was sure. 

\- I don't want another person with me except you Felicity. I just want to be in a familiar place. As for Laurel, I don't think it would be a good idea for me to be in the same room as her at the moment. But If you want to go back to your life I would understand it too, he said shaking her hand.

\- No ! I know being with you is where I need to be...Like every time you need me...When you remember those two missing years you will understand what I mean Oliver, she said giving him a smile.

Oliver was amazed at his response and made him question himself even more. Did it mean that their lives were linked, that the mystery that surrounded his amnesia had to do with them ? He hoped that going back to his childhood home would help him understand some things, to find his memories, because he wanted even more now to know who this woman was for him.

\- Thank you Felicity, he said.

\- I will always do everything for you, she replied.

Like every gesture she had undertaken for several days without realizing it, Felicity raised Oliver's hand to her lips and kissed it. Oliver was surprised by the sudden urge to kiss her feeling his lips on him, he immediately pushed the thought. But he realized that this urge had crossed his mind more than once since a moment already and he wondered one more times if there was more to their friendship.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I apologise for the time I've updated this story. Having not had opinion on previous chapters, I asked myself whether I would continue to translate the other chapters. Then I thought of the readers who had left me a comment and wanted perhaps to know the rest of the story. So I decided to go back to translation. 
> 
> I know there are mistakes, and I apologize, but know that what I do is difficult for me, because I don't know how to write English, othen than basic sentences. I understand it pretty much when I have to read it, but writing a story in English is impossible for me. That's why I use an internet translator, I take my time to translate every sentence as best I can so that the story is the easiest to read for you dear readers. 
> 
> I didn't find a Beta reader to help me correct them. If a person is taking the job, I would be happy for his help.
> 
> I just want to share the passion we share for Olicity with people other than my French compatriots. 
> 
> Enjoy of this new chapter, and remember that comments are a reward to our soul as an apprentice author.

Oliver opened the door of the manor feeling a peace surround him but also a sadness knowing that his mother would never again pass the doors of this house, not even Tommy, he closed his eyes feeling the smell of old wood, memories flooded his mind. He saw himself young with Tommy running through the halls of the mansion with Thea very small trying to catch up with them. Then he remembered the moments they spent in the movie theater with Laurel and the girfriend of the week for his friend, watching a movie while kissing their girlfriend. He remembered the impromptu visits of his best friend coming to tell him about the party he had been the night before and with whom he had slept, telling him that he had missed him.

He remembered the last time he spoke to him before he left for the Gambit and his reunion after five years away from the man he considered his brother. _**\- What did I tell you ? Yachts sucks -**_. He smirked nostalgically as he thought he could no longer laugh with his best friend, he hoped to recover his memory soon to find out how Tommy died. He could ask Felicity but he knew she would not tell him, she had told him about his mother only because he had wanted to be surrounded by someone he remembered. 

A smile formed on his face as he thought of the one who had been one of the two most important people in her life with her little sister. _**\- My beautiful boy -**_. She often called him that way, it was the first thing that she had told him when she got back to her hospital room when he came back from the island and she hugged him crying. He still couldn't remember how she died, but he had decided to take his time so that his memories returned and he could kill the man who had taken him away. He had killed Fyers with an arrow in the head to save Shado, he could do it again to avenge the death of his mother. 

Felicity felt butterflies appear in her belly as she set foot in the great hall, memories of that particular night invading her remembering how he had looked at her, how she had felt when he said "I love you", having believed his words for few seconds, before he slipped the syringe in her hand and she realizes that it was all a ploy to catch Slade Wilson. She turned her head to look at him and see if being here triggered the same memory she was thinking of, but she could notice by looking at his face that nothing was happening, he didn't remember this intense and emotional moment, for her at least.

She knew she shouldn't react that way, to be so sad but it was already so hard to be with him, knowing that she was just a foreigner in his eyes with no memories of their collaboration. She shook her head, she had to stop complaining that he didn't remember them, her only motivation had to be to help him remember Team Arrow, his role as vigilante. There were so many people who needed him in the city, against all these monsters who wanted to enslave Starling City.

\- I'm showing you around the manor, I don't think you've ever been here before, he says.

\- No, I never came. Do you realize that this place is so big that I will totally lose myself ?, she asked smiling.

\- There must be a plan somewhere in the drawers, Oliver replied laughing.

\- You can make fun of me but you spent all your life here. I'me sure if I take you to Vegas one day it's you who will get lost because of all the casinos scattered all over the city, she replied nodding.

Oliver showed him all the rooms then they went up the stairs which leading to the rooms, he put his bag in hers quickly then put his hand on Felicity's back to take him to his own room which was a few doors away. She put her suitcase on the bed and headed for the window, she could see that there was a balcony, she opened the doors and walked up to the railing letting the sun hit her skin.

Oliver felt his heart beat quickly when he saw her that way, on the balcony in the sunlight that gave an aura around her body making her so perfect. He approached her, he wanted to take her in his arms as he had done in New York, but he had felt that from the moment she set foot in his home, her behavior had changed. As if something important had happened in these places, an event which had turned her upside down but which she didn't want to talk about.

He felt a slight pain in his head but nothing came this time but it confirmed to him that he was right, a moment between them had taken place here. He quickly realized that she knew the manor, especially when he told her they would start in the living room and that she headed immediately in the right direction without him being told shows the way. They were silent next to each other on the balcony watching the property stretch out in front of them, admiring the view of the garden that his mother loved to care for so much, he was glad that Felicity had agreed to stay with him here.

\- Is my mother buried on the property next to my dad ?, he asked.

\- No, she's at the cemetery, as well as your late father, she replied.

\- Why ? Their place is here where they have always lived together.

\- They are together, I did the necessary for that Oliver. But the manor no longer belongs to you, I could have had it for a few weeks before it was sold at auction, she said sadly.

\- I don't understand. How I was able to lose everything that made the glory of my family, the society, the manor.

\- Oliver stop forcing your memories to come back please, I don't want you to feel unwell again.

He could see the fear in his eyes, what had happened in New York had really shaken her, he nodded to her, wrapped her arm around her, brought her closer to him and put her lips on his hair smelling the scent of the rose at the same time. He thought again of his desire to kiss her, of his way of being calm and relaxed in his presence.

His mind raced as he tried to figure out why she had such an impact on him, why he didn't want to leave her away from him. _**\- I know two things. You are not alone. And I believe in you.-**_ The pain that had been only partial before, intensified, but not as important than that of New York. He removed his arm from the shoulders of the young woman who made him go through several emotions since he woke up, feelings he didn't understand not, and put both hands bringing on his head and closed the eyes trying to make the pain go away by himself.

Felicity quickly went to fetch the pills she had in her bag, she came back to him with water, Oliver took them and felt the pain calm down quickly. He opened his eyes and the moment he saw the fear on the young woman's face, his heart contracted. He leaned against the brick wall of the house, took his hands in his and motioned for him to come to his side.

\- I'm sorry I scared you, I don't know why this pain suddenly appeared, he said kissing her temple to reassure her that he was better.

\- What were you thinking before the pain started ?, she asked.

Oliver didn't know if he should confess to her that he thought of her, that he had learned since several days that most of the time every time she spoke, he thought of her and he heard his voice in his head concerning moments of their lives during these two years. That he was sure now that the trauma was related to her, but that he still hadn't understood what has happened. Why he had erase all those moments with her from his memory.

\- You tried to remember but you forced too much and your brain couldn't bear it, she said seeing tht he didn't want to answer his previous questions. 

\- Or maybe I just need to accept that I'm not supposed to remember, he says.

\- Your memories will come back, it cannot be otherwise but I also know that it will just take time so stop forcing. I don't want to lose you forever, I need you, she said turning to him and putting her hand on his cheek. 

She turned away from him realizing that she still let her emotions dictate her gestures. She would never have told him those words that almost made them feel like they were together before the accident. She hadn't right to say them, they were only friends, nothing would happen between them because Oliver didn't want a relationship other than a friendly relationship with her.

\- I know I don't remember you, our life together. But what I know right now is that I don't want to lose you either...That I need you more than anyone, he said stroking her cheek.

Oliver's thumb touched his chin and his eyes rested on his lips for a few seconds, his heart beating faster as his gaze met hers again. Felicity didn't know what to say after his words, Oliver had never spoken to her that way before, had never shown any feelings he might have felt towards her. Completely overwhelmed by the sensations he gave her with these caress, she moistened her lips with her tongue before answering him. 

Oliver's eyes followed her movement on his lips, his hand slipped into his hair as he leaned, his eyes still anchored to his when they heard a voice, which Oliver reconized immediately. Jumping up, he got up quickly to enter the room and found himself in front of Laurel Lance who entered the room. 

\- Hi Oliver, she said.

\- I'm so happy to see you Laurel, he said, taking the lawyer in his arms.

Felicity's heart tightened at the sight in front of her, repelling the pain she felt, she didn't want to be jealous because it wasn't a trait of her character, waited until they finished greeting each other. But knowing that he remembered the lawyer but had forgotten everything about her made her very sad making him realize that she was surely not as important in her life as she thought. The truth was that he forgot it as easily as erasing chalk on a blackboard. What had just happened on the balcony was only the result of the situation, he was amnesiac, she was the woman who looked after him all the time. But he felt nothing, his heart was already taken by a certain brunette lawyer.

################################

Before arriving at the mansion, Laurel had been in her office thinking about the quick converstion she had had with Felicity a few days ago. The young woman called her when Laurel was back from Coast City where she had taken care of a case which had finally come to an end on the murder of the parents of her young client. The lawyer had finally found the witness who could send the murderer to prison, but she had to go this city, where he had taken refuge, to convince him to testify.

Felicity had called her for a favor, to temporarily recover the Queen's mansion because Oliver could no longer bear to be in her town house. Laurel had informed her yesterday that the manor was available to them for a few days. Felicity hadn't told her much about Oliver's situation having heard from Diggle before, but had told him that he wanted to see those he remembered.

Laurel had wondered several times since this mornirng if she should go to meet them knowing that they would be at the manor in the afternoon, she was very worried about her friend and wanted to see if he was feeling better. Since she was aware of his alter-ego their relationship had taken another turn, she had better understood his behavior for a year, his departure after the death of Tommy. 

During one of their dinners that they had had since two months, she had thought that they could be together again. But Oliver had explained to her that he couldn't resume a relationship with her, that there was a passive between them, they weren't meant to more than to be friends, that they had to go each on their side. That she would still be part of his life, but that she wasn't the woman of his life. 

Disappointed with his answer, she understood the meaning of the words one evening when she came to see them at the foundry wishing to tell him about a case, she needed the vigilante to take care of. Laurel had gently desended the steps of the stairs, not wanting to annoy them during their night work, she had watched them for a moment before announcing her presence. Felicity and Roy were talking at the laughing computer station about a movie they had probably seen together.

Oliver and Diggle were not far behind, given the state of their sweat-soaked torsos, they've been training for a while. Felicity burst out laughing at one point and Laurel had noticed that the vigilante had turned immediately at the sound of her laugh with the biggest smile that she had never seen on his face, but it had disappeared as quickly when an alarm had can be heard on computers. They all stood behind Felicity to listen to her talk about the new attack that had just happened. Roy, who had seen Oliver approaching, immediately backed away to make room for him right next to the young IT.

\- Someone is robbing one of the Kord Industries warehouses right now. They are still there, we can intercept them, she said.

\- We're going.. All in uniform, had replied Oliver

\- I'm going to have to come with you so I can block the system so they can't get out of the warehouse.

\- Felicity !!, had whispered Oliver.

\- I will stay well in the van don't worry, where I will be safe from any danger. First, have a sword against my throat, even if I had complete trust in you Oliver, that you wouldn't let him kill me, made me understand that being on the field isn't for me. I leave that to the tough guys like you three, she had said with a smile while looking at Oliver.

\- I should never have put you in such a position, I should have acted otherwise, had replied Oliver staring at her with such look that even Laurel, from afar, could see the feelings he felt for the young woman show through. 

It was this moment that Laurel had understood the meaning of the words, but especially why Oliver no longer wanted a relationship with her, he was in love withe the young IT. She could see their eyes anchoring together, it was as if they were having a silent chat, as if they had forgotten that they had an audience around them.

\- Oliver ! They're going to escape us, had said Diggle.

Laurel could see Oliver close his eyes for a few seconds, take a deep breath to surely remove the thought that Slade could come and take back the woman he loved. Felicity took his hand and squeezed it, his friend smiled again, opened his eyes thanking her silently, then left to get ready. It was then that they all noticed that their lawyer friend was present in the foundry.

A few days later, Laurel had learned from Diggle, that this mission had gone wrong, that Felicity had been slightly injured. That Oliver had been distant with the young IT, going so far as to ask her not to come to the foundry some evening. From that day she watched them interact, wondering when Oliver would stop pushing Felicity away and finally admit his feelings. She was by no means jealous, or even spiteful, that Oliver loved another woman, she was happy that he had finally found his half, as she had done with Tommy.

This is why with his accident she was afraid for Felicity, afraid that Oliver never remembers his love for the young woman and that he begins a new story with another. After several reflections she had decided to go see if Oliver was fine and be able to support Felicity and realize personally how her friend beabed with the young IT. When she entered to the mansion she hadn't seen anyone in the living room, neither the kitchen, she had climbed the stairs and could seen one of the doors of the rooms open, she came in and called his friend.

They were both out of the balcony, Oliver glad to see someone he knew. But when she had looked at Felicity she had immediately seen a sadness form in her look at Oliver's reaction when he wrapped her in his arms. 

\- I'm glad to see you Laurel.

\- Are you okay ?, Laurel asked the concern in her eyes, studing Felicity's face.

Her computer friend nodded to reassure her. Oliver not knowing that the question wasn't for him, replied that he was happy to finally see a face he remembered. Then he asked her why she hadn't come to see him earlier if she knew about his accident. Felicity felt the impact of her words like spikes in her heart. She felt even more pain seep into her chest and began to wonder what she was doing with him. Why did he want her to stay so much if to see Laurel reassured him more than being with her since two weeks. Seeing that he detached himself from his girlfriend, she put a smile on her lips so as not to show the sadness that invaded her heart.

\- I was in Coast City when I learned about your accident. I didn't the opportunity to return earlier. Excuse-me Oliver.

\- What were you doing in Coast City ?

\- My job ! I'm a lawyer now, she says.

Laurel turned to Felicity, the young woman had explained to her that Oliver didn't remember her, their friendship, their partnership with the team. So if they met, she shouldn't reveal that they were knew only by the night job of their mutual friend Oliver. 

\- I am delighted to see you again, Miss Smoak, said the lawyer.

\- I am also delighted Miss Lance.

\- You know each other ?, asked Oliver.

\- Yes ! You introduced us when I came to visit you at Queen Consolidated. You were chatting in the hall with Mr Diggle and Miss Smoak, replied Laurel. 

\- What were you doing at Queen Consoledated ? You said you weren't working there anymore.

\- I met Miss Lance when I was still working in IT.

\- Yes, it's been a while since we've seen each other, said Laurel. You came to visit Oliver too Miss Smoak..

\- No ! I became her nurse.

Turning his attention back to Felicity, Oliver could see that she was trying to hide her feelings with a big smile. But he could notice that her eyes had become very sad as they were filled with heat a few minutes before Laurel's arrival. Besides he didn't like the way she presented herself, in no case she was his nurse, she was so much more, what had almost happened on the balcony a few minutes ago was the proof.

He saw her start to leave the room but Oliver grabbed her arm, stopping her in her footsteps, he wondered if she was upset because they had almost kissed. The question that he was asking in his head for a while came back to haunt him. Did she have someone in her life and she blamed herself for being almost unfaithful ? He felt pain in his chest again to know that she was having a relationship with another man. _**\- What is this reference to Central City ? What exactly are you blaming me for ? I can know ! -**_ He hadn't felt this one coming, the pain in the head hadn't appeared, perhaps because he had had a seizure just five minutes before.

He realized that he could no longer remain in ignorance, he needed to know if she had another man in his lifle, or if they had a story together on the contrary, he could no longer remain between two steps. He noticed that the two women in the room were looking at him, he thought that he must have been silent for too long and still holding the young woman's arm, he brought her close to his side while he looked at Laurel.

\- Felicity isn't my nurse but my friend, she is wonderful and takes care of me since I woke up, I would be lost without her, but since you know her you understand what I mean, he says.

\- We hardly know each other Oliver. You wanted to see us both at the same time but...

\- We probably never had the opportunity to be available at the same time, continued the lawyer. 

\- I wasn't with the two of you at the same time. I didn't have a relationship with you Laurel while I was cheating on you with Felciity ? Tell me I didn't get back to being the man I was before I left for the Gambit, he asked.

\- Wait Oliver ! You think from the start that I'm just a girl passing through your bed. I thought you would have separated me from your other conquests, especially since we live together...Since our trip to New-York, she said annoyed by his remark.

\- No ! But in view of what Laurel just said I tought..., he said pissed at him.

Felicity's pain got worse and worse, she couldn't believe that now he thought she was just the woman he cheated on his girfriend with. She didn't answer right away trying to keep herself from yelling at him for thinking about such a thing, but also trying to swallow the lump in her throat which might make her tears run down her cheeks. Laurel seeing her suffer internally thought that perhaps she should come to her aid, especially that it was the bad formulation of her sentence which had made Oliver think of such a thing.

\- In no case have you become Ollie again, moreover we aren't together. I just wanted to say that with our very tight schedules you probably hadn't had the oppotunity to invite us both to dinner at the same time.

\- I'm not the kind of girl who has one night out adventures, you should have understood by now Oliver, said Felicity wanting to get out Oliver's arms, wishing he had thought about such a thing for a moment.

\- I'm sorry Felicity. I don't know why I thought of such a thing, he said catching her so she wouldn't get away from him.

\- It was legitimate to ask the question since you have no memory of Felicity but you could have been more subtle, says Laurel.

\- I know very well that you aren't the type to sleep for a night Felicity, you are so much better than this kind of woman that I knew before. I don't know what went through my mind. Don't blame me please....Don't leave, he said feeling ashamed to have been able to classify her in this kind of category. 

\- Ok Oliver, you are forgiven for you indecency, let's change the subject, she replied.

\- The last memory I have of Laurel is the conversation we had outside the legal aid office when I got home. On my return she still resented me for having taken Sarah and to be responsible for her death because of my inability to grow up, to become a man, he said wanting to make Felicity understand the man that he had been before.

\- It's the past Oliver, Laurel replied.

\- Surely but I still did the unthinkable by cheating on you with your little sister.

Oliver put his hand on his forehead, he felt a little pain tapping his head like a small drum, he had taken the pills but his brain probably wanted to bring out a memory, what happened a few seconds later. _**\- Speaking of unthinkable, your and me I mean -**_. He tried to hide what was going on in his head by continuing to speak to Laurel.

\- I'm going to hope and say that since you didn't push me away or slap un, we were able to talk during those two years that I forgot, he said with a smile.

\- Your intuition is good. I have understood a lot since your return from the island. I could see that you had changed and I decided that staying angry with you was useless.

Oliver was happy to hear it, he was so mad at himself for taking Sarah to the Gambit, losing her the first time because of the shipwreck and failing to save her the second time on the Amazo. 

\- You should go rest Oliver with what happened earlier it would be better if you rest a little. Laurel can come see you later, said Felicity. 

\- What happened ?, asked Laurel.

\- When he tries to remember too much of a memory, horrible headaches happen. The doctor told him to take care of himself but Oliver is very stubborn, replied Felicity caressing her arm mechanically as from the start they had become closer.

Realizing what she was doing, she immediately tried to get away from him, but he hugged her even more against his side. Oliver didn't want to go lie down, he wanted to chat with Felicity, talk about their almost kiss, find out wher they were now, understand what it meant. But with Laurel's presence he knew he would have to wait, even if she had assured him that they got on better now, he didn't want to talk about how he could feel for another woman in front of her.

He agreed to go lie down and told them to make yourself at home, that he would join them after resting, he left the room kissing Felicity's temple, then hugging Laurel before leaving the room. Laurel took Felicity into the living room wishing to discuss Oliver's situation without him hearing them talk about his night work or the two years he was missing. 

\- Has he made progress ?, asked Laurel, sitting down on the sofa. 

\- He often has headaches, I thing those are memories that are trying to get out, Felicity replied.

\- Does he tell you he remembers when the pains appear ? 

\- No !! The only time I realized he had a memory was when we talked about Tommy and he remembered that he was dead. I know he didn't remember the earthquake but he must have had a flash telling him of the death of his best friend. He resented me for not having told her anything. The first big crisis appeared at the time.

\- When you called me from New-York you told me that he had felt unwell.

\- I announced the death of his mother to him...I had to do it because he wanted to be surrounded by people he knew. I could not tell him that his mother was traveling with Mr Steel and Thea, he would have asked to speak to him on the phone to tell her that he had had an accident, replied Felicity feeling so bad that by his fault he had suffered again.

\- Does he know for the manor ?

\- He asked me if his mother was buried next to his father on the property. I had to tell him that in addition to losing the company he had also lost the family home, she replied sadly.

\- You did the right thing Felicity, Oliver maybe like a bulldog at times, tenacious and surly, he would ha asked you about the fact that his mother hadn't yet come to see him, said Laurel with a smile to relax the atmosphere became tense.

\- It frustrates him more and more not to remember. It's hard to know that he lost two very important people to him but that he has no memory of them.

\- The fact that Oliver doesn't seem to remember you, Diggle and Roy, because he got to know you because of his mission, shows that his memory loss is due to a trauma related to his vigilante work, says the lawyer. 

\- Dr Andrews talked about selective amnesia, he wanted to forget about a trauma. Seeing Slade kill his mother was too much for him to bear. He probably didn't want to lose a other person, so he forgot he was the city's vigilante.

\- I think the trauma is related to something else Felicity, if that had been the case, her memory would have returned as soon as you told her about his mother's death.

\- What are you thinking Laurel ? I mean Oliver has suffered so much already during these five years on the island. If he had had to forget something it would have been linked to that time, replied Felicity.

\- Perhaps having lost too many people, his best friend, father, mother and sister, who left town, was too difficult for him to bear. There is a limit to what a man can handle I think, replied Laurel.

Felicity wondered if Laurel was right, but she knew that Oliver liked to protect his city and its people. It was a mission he had enthusiastically taken up when he returned from Lian Yu the second time. She suspected that losing his mother was probably the hardest loss for him, but he had shown no weakness in bringing down Slade, even after locking him up in this Argus prison.

When they spoke on the plane back with Diggle, he explained that he was ready to meke it clear to the men who wanted to appropriate the city like Slade that Arrow was present with his team to stop them. 

\- Since his return he has been injured several times but not once did I see him fail, he was ready to get back in the saddle quickly. I don't see why he wanted to stop being Arrow, says Felicity.

Felicity's chest will tighten as she tried to imagine the world without the Arrow, she got out of her ridiculous thoughts because Oliver would remember his mission, that he was a hero for whole city. She would help him do it, even if it was for lose him afterwards. She looked at Laurel whos was thinking and an idea came to her, she realized that she had surely found the reason for Oliver's trauma.

\- Oliver may have been afraid of losing you once again Laurel, so he preferred to forget that we has Arrow. So that your story wasn't tarnished by his mission, said Felicity with a lump in the throat that had formed while saying these words.

The young lawyer looked up at the young IT and wondered where such an absurd idea could have crept into her head. Hadn't she noticed that Oliver had only on woman in his heart ? Laurel wondered if seeing Felicity with a dying sword on her neck might have been too much for his friend. Between choosing to be Arrow without the woman he loved and being a missionless man with his beloved, Oliver would coose the second option for sure. 

Laurel realized that he must have wanted to forget this trauma to be with the young woman but the accident had damaged the rest of his memory. But could she share her theory with Felicity ? She thought she had to wait and see how long Oliver's memory would return. If it got too long she would tell John about her idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping you enjoyed this chapter   
> I look forwards to your opinion.  
> See you soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**Hi dear readers. I'm posting the new chapter to this story. Many thanks to my beta bethy_wethy91 who took the time to correct all my translation errors.** _
> 
> _**I left you with Oliver who was wondering a lot about the relationship between him and Felicity. Will he finally have answers?** _

Oliver was lying in bed, unable to sleep, the pain had dimmed, but he kept thinking of Felicity, her behavior, her gaze which showed that she was attracted to him too. Yet she seemed to be afraid. As soon as they touched each other, he saw it in her gaze when they were going to kiss on the balcony . Maybe she was afraid to crack, to let herself be with him when she already had someone in her life. All her actions were contradictory, he saw her send several messages since they started living together, even when they were in New York, which made him think that she had a man in her life, but when she looked at him with her beautiful blue eyes, he felt like he was seeing the beginning of love.

He thought again of all the times he saw a big smile illuminating her face when she received answers to her messages. Every time he went mad with jealousy. Never in his life, as far as he can remember, had he been so jealous of another man. It didn't matter to him if Laurel slept with others, since he was also doing it but with Felicity everything was different. He knew he would never be able to deceive her because she had managed to sneak into his heart in such a short time. For him, no other woman existed now. The proof being that when Laurel had come to see them, no feelings had resurfaced when he saw her in his room. None! All he had thought of at that moment had been Felicity's well-being. In addition, Oliver was convinced that the voice in his head was Felicity's, and he wondered if his memories with her were trying to resurface to show him that they were more than friends.

He had concluded, after several hours of reflection, that all these conversations he heard in his head came from moments they had shared together, some might even have suggested that they were arguing, like a couple. Oliver wanted to have answers so much, to understand who she was to him before the accident. He was increasingly frustrated not being able to recall those two years, but especially not being able to recall the nature of his relationship with Felicity. During these past two weeks he had learned to know her, her kindness, her softness, her altruism, and her beauty had conquered him. He wanted to hold her in his arms continuously, touch her, kiss her, he dreamed only of her. He put his hands on his head, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know if it was reasonable to go and kiss her as he wished.

He had seen great sadness in her eyes when he had recognized Laurel, he knew that somehow it was difficult for Felicity to see him remember his ex-girlfriend when he didn't remember her. She had had the reaction of a jealous girlfriend, he thought. He opened his eyes wide when a thought passed in his head. Perhaps, she had no one in her life at the moment because her boyfriend was an amnesiac. If they were together before his accident, maybe Felicity only told him that they were just friends because he didn't remember her and she wanted to wait for him to remember, before confessing to him the nature of their relationship.

It made so much sense that he was seriously considering it now. Felicity had been present when he woke up, but not Laurel. The one he remembered as his girlfriend. While he was in the hospital, she had stayed with him even when he was sleeping, holding his hand. She had refused to leave him after his release from the hospital because she wanted to be with him if something happened. She hadn't asked to go back to Starling City even after she realized that he had put her on a plane, while she was still sleeping, for a trip to another city for a few days. When he had asked her to come to the manor she had agreed to come immediately, to be with him again. A friend would have asked to be replaced from time to time, they wouldn't have been as present as Felicity had been.

All the reactions, the gestures, the way she looked at him proved that they were not just friends, everything seemed like what a girlfriend would have undertaken. Oliver sat on his bed quickly wondering why he had never considered that possibility. He just assumed that the reason they weren't together was because they were just friends as she claimed. However, he had even given her responsibility for medical decisions about him, and such a responsibility wasn't entrusted to a simple friend, but to a girlfriend, to the woman who held his heart. He knew that it was related to this lack of memory, and he wondered if it was related to the trauma that he had wanted to forget.

Oliver wanted to get the answers to his questions at last, he thought if they resumed their couple habits, memories would return faster. Also, he felt very strong feelings for her, and he knew that such feelings weren't built up in a few weeks, but in months, years. He got up from his bed ready to ask her the question directly, he couldn't ask the two men who were present when he woke up because he didn't remember them. It would be tricky to ask them such personal questions. Laurel and Felicity didn't know each other well enough, so she couldn't answer his question either. 

There was only one more person left to ask, about if they were together. Oliver couldn't remember Felicity or their relationship, but he knew one thing, that with or without his memory he wanted to be with Felicity. He didn't want to wait to remember, he wanted to be able to hold her in his arms now, he wanted to spend his nights with her, he wanted to live their love affair now, not in a week, a month, or a year. He didn't want to wait for his memory to decide to come back by itself, he wanted to have the chance to be with the woman he loved. 

He stepped down the stairs, went through the kitchen but couldn't find Felicity in her room. He then looked in the library, but also didn't find her inside. The living room was empty too but then he heard noises in the theater. When he went in he saw the young woman he cherished sitting on one of the sofas watching a movie, not realizing he had entered the room. He walked gently, took the cover of the movie sitting on the table, and started reading the summary. "The Vow", he didn't know the movie, but it was about a woman who had lost her memory and her husband had decided to court her again to show her that they were made to be together, even without memory. 

This movie was about their story. Except, that he was the amnesiac and he was the one who wanted to remember his love for her and that he was the one who was going to court her. For a few minutes he didn't advertise his presence contemplating her, trying to remember a moment between them that would confirm that they were a couple before his accident.

He didn't pay attention to what was happening on the screen, only Felicity like in New York during the street show. For a moment, he blamed himself for his amnesia, for not remembering their love story. For he was convinced that they loved each other. He could not be wrong. Living together had never been difficult, it was so natural, which was normal since they had to live in the same apartment before his accident, he thought. There was no doubt in his mind, Felicity was his girlfriend, his future wife, the future mother of his children. He didn't have to wait for his memory to come back to get the answers to all his questions about the connection he felt between them, he felt it in him.

Still focused on her face, he saw her smile. He turned his face furtively toward the screen and could see the two characters finally in each other's arms. He looked again at Felicity. Lovingly, looking at this beautiful woman who had captured his heart. Her blond locks that lay on her back were something he deeply wanted to run his fingers through to feel the sweetness of her hair. Then his eyes went down to her lips, which he had nearly touched a few hours ago and which he wanted to taste for the first time now. He decided to move and moved closer to her, because watching her had made him want to hug her and kiss her until his heart burst with joy. 

\- Hey!! he says to make his presence known so as to not scare Felicity

\- Hey!! She replied with a smile looking at him happily before she looked at the big screen again.

He sat next to her and grabbed her hand, and saw her turn to him as if he had done it millions of times. Felicity was destabilized by Oliver's penetrating gaze, she smiles so as not to show her emotions again. She didn't want him to know that his behavior made her uncomfortable while also making her happy to see him without his walls around him to keep him from getting close. Oliver didn't let go of her gaze, she saw his eyes shine and his smile that she loved so much. When she caressed his hand with her thumb he felt that connection he had felt from the beginning. They weren't just friends, they were much more, Oliver was certain of that the more seconds went by.

\- You're my girlfriend, aren't you? He asked her outright.

\- Sorry!! says Felicity not expecting such a question

\- Before my accident, we were a couple, weren't we?

\- No! You and I are... we're friends...Only friends Oliver, she explained.

She wanted to tell him that if they weren't together, it was his fault, that she wanted to be more than his friend, but that he put barriers around his heart, at least concerning her. That he certainly had a story with the beautiful Laurel Lance.

\- Why do you think I was your girlfriend before your accident ? she asked.

Oliver grimaced, he was so sure that his thinking was true, he wanted it to be true, but he was wrong and realized that the truth was that the woman who gave him the joy of living even in his state of amnesia surely had someone in her life. He felt the despair slide into his veins, he closed his eyes to forget what she said, but remembered all the messages that the young woman had sent and received in return. Jealousy took the place of anger. He didn't want another man to have the chance to be with this wonderful woman. He spoke without being able to stop. His jealousy having taken control of his whole body. 

\- You have someone in your life, don't you? That's why we're not together. He is the one who has all your attention. You often send him messages throughout the day. If he was in front of me I...

\- Oliver!! Why are you upset? Of course I send messages...To Diggle and Roy to give them updates. They're your friends. They're worried, she says surprised by his sudden anger.

\- But you often smile when you receive messages. Is Roy your boyfriend? he asked annoyed.

\- I'm getting news about a friend of mine in Central City who is in a coma right now. Cisco that sends me news often makes me smile to erase the sadness that permeates me when he tells me that there is nothing new, she replied.

Oliver felt the pain in his head coming, in small strokes - Your parents know you are here - he heard in his head. He closed his eyes so that the pain could fade more easily. Felicity didn't understand what was going on with Oliver.Why had he asked her if they were together and then got angry over the messages she sent. When she saw him close his eyes, she realized that he probably remembered something, maybe of Barry. Maybe of when they had met about the investigation of the centrifuge theft.

She wanted so much for him to tell her what was going on in his head. She could help him, give him answers, but he was silent. Oliver felt the pain disappear as fast as it had come and without a pill this time. He realized that he shouldn't have behaved that way with her, but everything about her, especially the lack of memory about what she meant before the accident, made him crazy. He wanted to be with her so much that he was being a fool, he had to change, but he had to be sure first.

\- You have no one in your life then, he asked, opening his eyes once again.

\- No!! I already have three men in my life, Diggle, Roy and you who take much too much of my time, she jokes.

Oliver was relieved to hear this and decided that he could finally act on his feelings since he had nothing left to stop him except his amnesia, but it no longer mattered. He just wanted to be with Felicity. He looked at their joined hands for a while before finding her eyes. He stared intensely at Felicity, but after a few seconds, he let go of her hand, put the one hand on her waist to bring her closer to him, then lifted the other one to her cheek. He looked at her again, then lowered his head laying his mouth on hers.

Astonished by his gesture, Felicity let herself go with the sensations that filled her body at their first kiss. She put her hand on his shoulder and let herself lean into the kiss which was getting more passionate the more seconds that passed. She should have pushed him away. She was aware of that, but she wanted to take advantage of the opportunity she had to be held and kissed by the man she was in love with. It was probably the only kiss they would share. She wanted to be selfish and carefree, for once. She would bear the consequences of this act later.She would accept Oliver's remonstrations when his memories came back. He would surely be upset that she had kissed him while he had amnesia.

Oliver's hand on her cheek slipped into her hair as he pulled her against him with his arm around her waist. Air was starting to become a problem, but he didn't care. He felt that he had waited for this kiss forever and he wanted to enjoy every second of it. Holding her in his arms, feeling her mouth moving against his, her tongue teasing him was even better than he had imagined. At last, they broke the kiss but not their connection pressing their foreheads against each other.

After a few seconds in this position, Oliver leaned over to press a slight kiss on her lips before going down to her neck, dragging kisses down her soft skin before sliding his tongue over her pulse and sucking. Now that he knew what it was like to kiss her, to taste her, Oliver didn't think he could ever have enough. She was intoxicating and he wanted to get lost in her.

Felicity could feel a tingling along her spine as she was getting lost in the feeling of the kisses but she knew that what was happening right now, the fact that they shared these kisses, was due to Oliver's loss of memory. It was only because of that, and if she continued down this path, she would suffer when he pushed her away when his memories came back. She knew that their first and only kiss would remain forever in her memory, but she should not enjoy it much longer. Letting him kiss her while he had no memory of their history or of the place she had in his life was wrong. She pushed his body gently, putting space between them. Oliver looked into he eyes not understanding her gesture.

\- We should stop Oliver, she says

.- Why? he asks stroking her swollen lower lip with the pad of his thumb as he kept looking at her intensely

\- You don't remember who I am. You're letting yourself be led by your emotions because of your amnesia and I know that when your memories are back you're going to blame me for this kiss. Our friendship is very important to me Oliver because getting to know you literally changed my view on life, she says.

\- It's true you're right, I let myself be led by my emotions but not because of my amnesia. More because of the fact that I know that we share much more than you claim. I feel this very strong connection between us and...

\- I know that when your memories come back you'll decide that what happens is not what you want and losing what we have, losing your friendship is not something I’m strong enough to handle, she said cutting him off before turning her eyes.

\- You're important to me, Felicity, that won't change if my memories come back... I'm not going to leave you. I want to be with you, he tells her as he raises her face.

Felicity wanted so much to believe it. She wanted Oliver with his memories to want to continue a relationship with her but the young woman knew her friend so well and he would stop what was happening between them as quickly as it had started. Oliver was a hero. His mission was his life, even more so since Thea had left to get far from the disasters of their family and the chaos of the city.

\- I know that for now you think I'm important to you. That you feel more than friendship between us but I know the consequences that I will suffer if I decide to start a relationship with you, she says fondly caressing his cheek.

He leaned down, pressing a slight kiss against her lips as he caressed her cheek. He realized that he had surely done something before his accident that convinced Felicity that he didn't want to be with her. He had to make her realize that she was the only woman he wanted. That he wanted to spend his life loving her. He also knew that if he told her right away the three words that were on the tip of his tongue she wouldn't believe them so he had to be more subtle.

\- If I recover my memory Felicity nothing will change between us, it will only serve to strengthen what surely already existed, he says

\- Oliver! I...

\- Give me a chance to prove myself, to show that what is going on between us is not just due to my amnesia. That what is happening is so much stronger than an attraction and will last when I remember you, our meeting, everything about you, he says.

Felicity felt her heart beating quickly at his words. She closed her eyes to make the decision that would change her relationship with Oliver now and also after his memory returns. She opened her eyes and gazed into his then lowered her head and kissed him while wrapping her arms around his neck, hoping deep down that she wasn't making a big mistake.

#############################

Oliver brushed a hand through his still wet hair before leaving his room and walking down the stairs in search of Felicity. He had run in the garden for an hour. He had started this ritual a week ago after they had moved into the mansion and ran every morning. Feeling better every day afterwards. He knew that he would have to go back to the hospital to be scanned to see if the swelling had completely disappeared and he hoped that when nothing was putting any pressure on his brain, his memory would return. He had had no headaches and had heard no voices since he had started a relationship with Felicity. Even though the young woman told him that they were only friends before his accident, the fact that nothing had happened since he kissed her meant that those memories going through his head were to show him the way...to be with Felicity.

He entered the library where Felicity liked to lock herself up for a few hours to read while he was running on the property. He was surprised to see the room empty for once, he ventured into the living room but didn't see her either. His heart began to beat quickly, a fear that he could not understand, and the pain in his head that had not occurred for a long time hit him hard. _**\- Diggle! She’s breathing! Yes -**_ Oliver realized that Felicity had once again been in danger, he was beginning to sincerely wonder what she was doing in her life to have been injured several times. He also realized that his driver and bodyguard was part of the mystery that the young woman didn't want to reveal.

The pain intensified again. For the first time since waking up he saw a scene unfold before his eyes. Felicity in the arms of a man wearing a Robin hood outfit with a quiver on his back. He wondered if this man was the one who tried taking the woman he loved away from him forever. 

\- Felicity, he said softly the pain in his head preventing him from screaming.

He had to find her to prevent this memory from taking over. He walked into the drawing-room painfully, closing his eyes a few times to try to relieve the pain that was consuming him. Then he smelled the coffee and heard music coming from a radio on his right. Turning his head towards the door of the winter garden which was open, he could see Felicity sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in one hand and a book from the library in the other. He was relieved to have found her. To see that she was safe and sound and as if by magic the pain gradually went away allowing him to feel better. He took a few breaths before walking forward and joining her.

While advancing he thought again to their perfect evening from the night before. They had ordered Italian then had eaten in the kitchen glued against each other, smiling, chatting, and just being happy together. Then they walked in the garden hand in hand. Throughout the evening they hadn't discussed his problem but their childhoods, Oliver wishing to know her better. When they had returned to the house to lie down, Oliver would have wanted to take her into his room and make love to her but he knew that Felicity did not want to pass this stage before his memories come back. He understood it and cold showers had become his evening ritual before going to bed. 

\- Hey, he called as he bent down to place a kiss on her lips before sitting next to her, assuring himself that she was fine. 

\- You're done venting your excessive energy? she asked.

She thought again about what had happened two days ago when she saw him enter the kitchen removing his sweat-soaked t-shirt, revealing his fabulous abs. He had stopped suddenly when he saw her and realized that she could see his scars. He had wanted to cover himself quickly, feeling uncomfortable that she could see him this way, but she had stopped him in his movements explaining that she had already seen them all. She had put her hand on the scar that had allowed them to meet and had heard him exhale a breath when her palm made contact with his skin. She felt that Oliver wanted to deepen their relationship but she was not sure that this was reasonable. She was already afraid of his reaction to the fact that she had not prevented what was happening between them. 

\- Yes it made her feel good... 

\- I'd like to ask you a question, Felicity.

\- I’ll listen to you as long as it is not about your lack of memory. 

\- Were you hurt? Or kidnapped?, He asked. 

Felicity turned her head quickly towards him realizing that he had surely had a memory of her being injured. But why didn't he talk to her about what he seemed to remember? She didn't have time to ask him because the music stopped suddenly to announce an emergency message. 

\- “And once again tonight the woman in black saved a young woman who was attacked by a gang in the Glades. We don't know who this vigilante is, who is running on the streets, but I think the women of Starling City are happy with her presence here to protect them.” 

Felicity pinched her lips while keeping her attention on her book, she had long since learned not to show her emotions because of Arrow secrets, but the news they had just heard on the radio would surely make Oliver ask more questions. With what he had just asked her, just before he was interrupted by the journalist, had made her understand that his memories were partially returning. It also meant that Sarah had returned to town and that she had to warn Diggle quickly not to let their friend approach Oliver because he thought she was dead. Oliver realizing that Felicity was deliberately ignoring him continued on with his questions. 

\- Are you that vigilante? Is that why I saw you hurt in my vision? he asked. 

\- No! I'm not fighting in the streets like this woman, she said. 

\- I don't understand, then why were you...

\- Oliver, stop trying to force things. If your starting to remember moments from your life, it means that your memory is slowly revealing itself to you. 

\- I just want to understand...

\- I realize that it is very difficult for you to stand by and to do nothing but if you could give yourself time to heal, maybe the blanks would start to fill in by themselves. 

Felicity got up from the chair to leave the winter garden, but before she could take a step, Oliver wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her body against his as he locked his eyes with hers. Again he felt this fear of losing her creeping inside him. Suddenly the pain in his head appeared again, _**\- I want you to stay here. What! You can't ask me to do that! I'm not asking you! -**_ This conversation he had just heard confirmed what he had suspected, his trauma was related to Felicity. He had almost lost her one day. Fear insinuated itself even more into his heart, the terror and the pain intensified. He took several puffs of air to make it leave. 

After a few seconds of focusing the pain subsided again. He pressed Felicity against him, placing his cheek against her hair, breathing in her smell, proving to himself that she was still in the room, that he had not lost her. He loosened his grip on her, reassured for the time being. He covered her mouth with his own. The kiss was sweet and slow. His lips moved almost lazily on their own as he appreciated the way she felt against his body. His tongue teased the seam of her lips, asking to enter and when Felicity opened her mouth to welcome him, he deepened the kiss, taking his time, lost in the sensations she gave him. When lack of air became a problem they put an end to the kiss, and while looking at her intensely, Oliver promised himself that he would fight this Robin Hood so that he would never take away the woman he was in love with. 

###########################

Oliver was preparing the meal for them, Felicity was sitting on a stool watching him do it. If she didn't know him so well she’d never thought he'd been stuck on an island for five years. While watching him cook she communicated with Diggle, giving him the latest updates about Oliver. After their fiery kiss in the winter garden she had already sent him a quick message to warn him of Sarah's return to town and that he had to intercept her to tell her of her friend's amnesia. 

\- I must be boring you because you spend a lot of time sending messages to your friend Cisco, Oliver said, leaning over the counter to steal a kiss. 

\- You don't bore me. I like to watch you cook. I'm just giving Diggle and Roy an update. 

\- Am I also friends with them? He asked.

\- Yes, they are your closest friends, she replied. 

Oliver stepped back to watch his chicken cordon bleu cook when he felt the famous pain in his head announcing a memory. _**\- You can’t find Felicity! That can’t be!! Why? I stepped out to buy food, when I came back no one was here! That was hours ago. -**_ He turned his head in the direction of Felicity that was now staring at him.

\- Oliver! What do you see?, she asked.

\- Nothing!

\- Oliver! Stop being silent, stop leaving me behind. I see when you are remembering, you have pain in your head. I didn't say anything before, but I can help you remember, she says.

\- I saw nothing this time, he replied.

\- Please Oliver ! I want to help you...

\- Since we have been living together, I hear voices in my head. Most of the time it's yours. I can't pinpoint the time when these moments have happened. Sometimes I think I also hear mine and your friend John's voice, he says.

\- Oh! Well this means that your memories are coming back...I'm sure you'll get your memory soon, she says with a smile.

\- But I don't want to remember, he cried

\- What!

\- I don't want to lose you Felicity.. I don't want to remember that he almost took you away from me.

The words were barely out of his mouth before the pain returned, Oliver grabbed his head in his hands, a blinding light shining behind his eyelids as he breathed deeply, trying to counter the acute pain that made him feel like someone was pushing ice spades into his head.

\- Oliver! Tell me what's wrong?, she shouted begging him to answer her, passing to the other side of the kitchen island to reach him.

He felt it happening again, like in New York, he was breathing through his nose trying to control himself so as not to make another scene. He knew that he would hear that voice that haunted him, _**\- But again you missed the point. I have the girl you love. You'll meet me where I tell you. Otherwise I kill her -**_

\- No! Felicity!, he yelled

\- I'm here Oliver! Open your eyes... I am in front of you, she said, putting her hand on his chest where his heart was.

Oliver felt his heart beat even harder at her touch, he opened his eyes and locked his gaze with hers, she was still there. It was this voice that scared him. He reached out his hand and put it on her cheek, leaned his forehead against hers, and took a deep breath. That monster didn't have her. She was with him in the kitchen. He wanted to ask her so many questions. He wanted to know why she was in danger. Why this man dressed as Robin Hood was doing her harm but for the moment he just wanted to enjoy her presence near him, in his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity continue their relationship, but a discussion between Diggle and Felicity will give doubts to the young blonde woman. What will Felicity decide about her relationship with the man she is in love with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank my fabulous Beta _**bethy_wethy91**_ for his help.

It had been two days since Oliver had last felt pain in his head from the memories trying to break the barrier of his amnesia. Felicity was worried because she realized that the trauma Oliver was remembering was related to Slade. In his own way, he was so afraid that this monster would come back to Starling City to take Laurel and Thea from him that he had forgotten his very existence. The explosion deepened his loss of memory.The memory of the traumatic event he had suffered when he saw Slade killing his mother, and related to his night work, had also erased other memories associated with him. Team Arrow, its partners, its mission. 

After calming him in the winter garden and doing everything to appease him, she wanted him to talk about what had just happened. She asked him what he had heard but he refused her request. Not wanting to think about it and not wanting to discuss it. He hugged her and assured her that he felt better, claiming he only wanted to hold her. She had agreed to it only because she made him promise to tell her what he had already remembered. She was hoping that by helping him place his memories and figuring out where what he heard had happened that his memory could be unlocked and he could remember that he was the vigilante of Starling City, as well as Sara, Diggle and Roy.

Yesterday they received a message from Dr. Andrews' secretary who wanted to schedule an appointment for Oliver to have another scan done. This morning, Felicity, being pretty tired because of not sleeping due to too much worrying about Oliver, had appealed to John to drive them. Thinking that at the same time she could tell him what she had discovered and found. When Diggle arrived, Oliver was still in the shower, so they headed to the living-room to discuss the situation and the progress their friend had made.

\- So has he had new flashes since the last time? John asked

\- Apart from this one two days ago, he hasn’t had another one. Since I’ve known him, I've never seen Oliver scared, she says.

\- Surely the memory he had must have been linked to his trauma and it is trying to break through the barriers of his selective amnesia.

\- I think I know what Oliver doesn't want to remember, she says.

\- You don't need to tell me Felicity, the only man who almost defeated our friend is Slade...He must be afraid that he will be able to escape from Argus prison so he erased the existence of the Mirakuru attack from his memory, answered Diggle.

\- But the blast removed his memories of his alter-ego, and of us, his partners, she replied sadly.

\- He's going to be fine like he always is. He survived five years on that island, even though I'm sure he didn't stay there. He came back here, beat Malcolm, beat Slade and he will overcome his amnesia.

Felicity didn't have time to answer because Oliver was walking back into the room. He headed to the other man in the room and shook his hand. Then he went to Felicity, kissed her on her head while placing his hand around her waist. Diggle said nothing about this gesture but was surprised by this development. Oliver had always done everything possible to distance himself from the young woman before his accident, not wishing to bring her into his darkness, even if he was in love with her. He did not pay any more attention to them. He got up and told them that he would be waiting for them in the car and then left the living-room but not without turning his head at the last moment and seeing Oliver standing in front of his friend taking her by the waist and hugging her against him.

After a few minutes of waiting, Diggle saw them coming to the car holding hands. Oliver was smiling at the young woman like a schoolboy with his first crush. Diggle knew that this development did not bode well for the pair, but there was no indication at the moment that they had become intimate. Throughout the journey he kept an eye on them. Spying on them in the mirror. After ten minutes of driving and seeing nothing unusual, he concluded that he had been wrong and his friends had not crossed the barrier of friendship. He looked at the road feeling reassured. It's not that he didn't want them to be together. He was their biggest fan, but he thought it wasn't the right time when Oliver was an amnesiac. After a few minutes of not paying attention to them, he heard a whisper that made him look up to the mirror and he understood very quickly that he was wrong. They were closer than he thought. 

He could see Oliver leaning, closing the distance between him and Felicity as he pressed a slight kiss on the young woman's lips. She returned it. Her hand leaving his chest and landing on his cheek. He felt uncomfortable spying on them, so he turned his gaze back to the road. He realized that they had moved to a new stage in their relationship, but he didn't think it was a good idea. He decided that he would talk to Felicity when they got back from the hospital. Felicity, not realizing John had seen them, continued to kiss Oliver slowly, deepening their kiss. Oliver grabbed her neck to pull her even tighter against him. He groaned against her mouth, cursing the seat belt that prevented him from placing her on his lap. Hearing his groan, against her lips, Felicity pulled back for a minute. Her thumb stroking Oliver’s beard.

\- Do you have a headache? she asked, worried.

\- Why are you asking me that, Felicity? he says fondling her cheek.

\- You made a noise like you were in pain, she replied.

\- If I grumbled, it was because of this seat belt that’s preventing me from lifting you and putting you on my lap to kiss you, in the way I really want to, he replied, laying a slight kiss on her lips.

\- Oh! Oliver we are not alone, she whispered with a smile.

\- I know, but if you had driven, I could have never done that.

He leaned in for another kiss. His emotions were wreaking havoc on his control. He wanted her. Desired her. He wanted to shower her with kisses and caresses. He wanted her every minute of the day. He caressed her lips with his tongue, encouraging her to open her mouth. She didn't do it immediately but then their tongues met, playing, flirting with a fierce intensity. Needing air, they separated. Oliver pulled back and rested against the headrest. He pulled Felicity against him so that her head laid against his shoulder. He had to calm down, Otherwise he would make love to her in the car without even worrying about the presence of their driver. He closed his eyes enjoying the peace that this woman could bring to him just by being present at his side.

He put one of his hands on her thigh and the other slowly descended along her back so that his fingers could caress her bare skin where her shirt had risen. When they arrived at the hospital parking lot, they walked away from the car holding hands. Diggle informed them that he would wait for them here. He watched them leave wondering what was going through his friend's head. To start a relationship with Oliver now, that would surely fail given the circumstances and the situation in which Oliver was in. He knew that he had to make Felicity understand that this was not a good idea.

The doctor scanned Oliver as usual with no issues. Felicity had told the Doctor about the acute pain Oliver had suffered twice without telling him the reasons. Now they were waiting in his office for him to come back with the results and perhaps answers. Oliver was in front of the window looking at the horizon thinking of the woman sitting in a chair, not far from him. He hoped that the doctor would tell him that the swelling had gone and that his memories would begin to return. He needed answers for those lost two years but he also wanted to know who Felicity was to him before his accident. He felt her presence before she even touched him. His strained muscles automatically relaxed at her touch. She had this power over him. Calming him instantly, as if by magic.

\- I know what concerns you, Oliver, she says caressing his back, from top to bottom wanting to calm him down.

\- Are you sure Felicity? He asked , watching the city laid out in front of him.

\- You want your memories back because you can't stand to be around people you don't know or remember. That's why I'm gonna ask that when we get out of here you call Laurel to replace me. That way you will be with someone you remember, she says gently.

She didn't have time to react before Oliver turned quickly and pulled her to him placing her against his chest. Slowly, her lips began to meet his own in a sensual and prolonged kiss. He sucks her lower lip into his mouth, caressing it with his tongue as she gently sighs. He lifted his hand caressing her cheek. He wanted so much to tell her his feelings, but he knew that she wouldn't believe it because of his amnesia. He remembered that before starting their relationship she explained to him that when he remembered, he wouldn't want her. 

\- You're right I want my memories to come back but not for the reason you mentioned. I want to know who you were to me before this accident, he said, staring at her intensely. 

\- Oh! We were friends, she simply replied.

Oliver had to make her understand what she meant to him without revealing what he felt for her. He wanted to express to her the thoughts and emotions he had repressed since their first kiss a week ago.

\- You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. I just want you to know how special you are to me and how lucky I am... I... I really like being with you.

He felt his hand shaking as it caressed her face and felt butterflies in his stomach again, but he felt at that moment they were multiplied by a thousand because of the loving feeling he felt for her.

\- You're very special to me too, Oliver, she whispered softly.

\- What did I do to get the chance to have you in my life?

\- You came into my office one day... Quite simply, she answered with a smile.

Oliver felt a small twinge of pain, meaning that a memory was again emerging _**\- Felicity Smoak! Hi I'm Oliver Queen -**_ He let out a breath and then leaned in to taste her lips, which he captured fully. When their lips met Oliver tried to convey all the love, passion and desire he felt for her. His hands wrapped instinctively around her waist to bring her closer to his body. He savored the sweet flavor of her mouth, separated her lips and invited himself in. His tongue gently probed her mouth, finding her tongue, caressing it gently with his own, sucking it sometimes. Oliver was intoxicated with her presence and he never wanted this kiss to end. He started breathing with his nose wishing to prolong the sweet ecstasy of their kiss.

His self-control continued to deteriorate when he felt Felicity's nails digging into his neck, pulling him even closer. After minutes of pure pleasure she broke the kiss, panting as the need for air was too great. From the corner of his eye, he could see Felicity's chest rise and fall as she took long deep breaths. His own breath accelerated, anticipating his next move. He raised his hand behind her back and caressed her shoulder before starting to descend down to her chest that he wanted to touch so much. Suddenly, they heard a cough, warning them of another presence in the office.They turned to the door to see Dr. Andrews, looking at them with a smile. He moved to his desk and they followed him sitting in the chairs holding hands the whole time.

\- The swelling has dissipated. You seem to be almost a hundred percent, cured Mr. Queen. I don't know why these sudden pains are happening and the only option left to explore is that it's more a psychological reason than a physical problem now, he told his patient.

\- I don't understand what you mean...You told me it was because of the trauma and now you're saying it's a psychological issue, Oliver replied.

The doctor explained to Oliver that when he first woke up not knowing the cause of his amnesia, he had asked his friends not to help him remember. It was best to let him do it on his own. It was much better not to gain too much new information at one time. Now that he was certain that Oliver’s subconscious was fighting against the memories that were trying to resurface for a reason that Oliver alone knew, he should go out into the city and walk around places that were anchored in his memory to try and help his memories come back.

\- Should we continue to leave him alone, so he can remember for himself or can we show him places that we all know?, asked Felicity.

\- No! You can help him. I even think that going to places which Oliver has no memories of, but you shared together could help him get his memory working. Your amnesia is due to trauma.The fact that your memories haven't returned and you have headaches, means you don't want to remember. You are intentionally blocking them, says Dr. Andrews.

\- Oliver, why do you think you are intentionally blocking your memories? asked Felicity.

\- I fear this awful pain every time a memory tries to resurface. If I remember nothing, then nothing bad can happen, he honestly says looking at her.

\- Unfortunately, Mr Queen you cannot remain an amnesiac and those memories will not remain stuck in your head forever. If you continue to repress them, when they do come back, the pain could be ten times worse and do irreparable damage, said Dr. Andrews.

\- How do I stop blocking my memories. I want my memory back, he says shaking Felicity's hand.

\- You must resume a normal routine for your life and your memories will return. You must let them return at their pace. I know it will be difficult for you Mr. Queen and it can take time, he says.

\- So, what you’re telling me is that I should stop fighting the return of my memories and accept them even if they are difficult while resuming a normal life? asked Oliver.

\- Yes!! Moreover, Mrs Smoak can also resume her own life. You can manage on your own, Mr Queen. You no longer need help.

Felicity felt her chest tighten. Would Oliver want her to stay with him at the mansion now that he could manage on his own? Would he ask her to stay with him, even if he no longer needed her presence? The reaction he had when she suggested asking Laurel to come to the mansion was quite an eloquent answer, as well as the kiss they had shared, filled with passion and love. She might believe, if she didn't know Oliver so well that he wanted to keep her close to him. She was brought out of her thoughts by Oliver's caress on her arm. She thanked Dr. Andrews, and then they left his office holding hands. It was really becoming a habit. They walked into the empty elevator, Felicity thinking about what Oliver had told the doctor. 

\- Why do you think something awful could happen if you remember Oliver?

\- I don't know......it's a feeling I have at times...I’m sure my concerns are just being amplified by my lack of memories, reassuring her.

But Oliver knew very well why he didn't want his memories back. He didn't want any danger to come to Felicity. She was so important to him. The young woman looked at him for a moment and she could see in his gaze that he was not telling her the truth. The thing that worried her was what drove him to block his memory. She had to find a way to figure out what he was concerned about and help him remember.

When they arrived at the mansion, Diggle asked Oliver if he could speak to Felicity for a moment. He agreed. He laid a kiss on Felicity’s lips and left them alone standing near the car. 

\- Tell me what you're doing Felicity? He asked quietly as he looked at her carefully.

\- I'm trying to help Oliver, she replied, not understanding his question.

\- Do you think that having a relationship with him is healthy? Your relationship is based on lies because he doesn't know you...Not the true Felicity Smoak...Not the one who helps him with his mission anyway, he says.

\- He asked me if I was his girlfriend. I told him I wasn’t and that we were friends but he kissed me anyway, she replied.

\- You should have prevented that from happening. For now his feelings and his emotions are based on a false idea of your relationship...Even though I know that Oliver has feelings for you Felicity, he's not going to take it well when he realizes you let this happen, he says.

\- I know you're right John but... I made the decision despite the consequence... I hope that when he remembers, he will still want to stay with me, she says, her heart breaking at her friends words.

\- Felicity! You know the consequences will be terrible, you know Oliver, you already know how he will react when he remembers...

\- You think I'm not aware of this, Dig ...You think I haven't already weighed the pros and cons of our relationship. What we're feeling is strong ...I feel it in me.

\- Felicity I'm the first person who would want you to be together, you know...You're perfect for him but what you're experiencing right now...It's not real...Not for him at least. If you don't want your friendship to end when he remembers, you have to stop everything while there's still time, he says.

\- But I love him, John.. you're asking me to give up on him, she says.

\- No Felicity! I’m asking you to give up on him for the moment while he is amnesic. When he remembers you can be with him again and your relationship will be real.

\- When he remembers that he is the vigilante of the city, there will be no more us. Oliver doesn't want to be with me because of his mission.He thinks I'd be in danger if we're together...But I'm already in danger because I'm his partner...But he doesn't see it that way, that's why he'll leave me, she says tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes.

\- Felicity

\- Thanks, John, I'll think about it. Kiss Roy for me and be careful. If you need a helping hand don't forget that I'm always here to help you, she says kissing him on the cheek leaving him alone by the car.

Felicity tried to fight the pain that was developing in her chest as she walked towards the door of the mansion. She stood stuck in front of the door, holding the handle for several minutes thinking about what John had just told her, wondering what she should do. After a few moments of standing in front of the door alone, she decided to go in. Oliver turned when he heard the door open and he frowned when he saw his girlfriend's face. She seemed upset. He walked towards her, closing the distance between them and placed his hand on her cheek as he tilted her head back to force her to look at him. He let his other hand fall to her hip, tightening his grip slightly. 

\- What happened Felicity, you look upset? he asked.

Felicity knew that she couldn't tell him about the conversation she had just had with his friend. She knew that John was right and it hurt her to have to end the relationship she had with the man she loved, knowing that she would never have a chance to be with him again.

\- John just wanted to know how your appointment went, she reassured him.

\- He could have asked me personally if he just wanted to know that. I know I don't remember him, but I would have answered him anyway, he said.

Felicity didn't want to lie to him, but she couldn't tell him that she was thinking about what their friend had just told her.

She knew that John was trying to protect her from suffering too much and she loved him for that. After thinking about it. She realized that she can’t continue dating Oliver. She would end up with her heart broken when Oliver told her that she should not have succumbed to his charm, that he had always been in love with Laurel and always would be. She looked at him to gain some courage, but the words were so hard to say when he stared at her with such a soft, almost loving look. Could she really tell him? 

\- I should go back home, she said, not able to get the words she wanted out.

\- Don't you want to stay with me? asked Oliver.

\- You heard the doctor... there is no need for a nurse to watch you...

He knew he shouldn't be angry that she didn't want to stay with him now that he didn’t need anyone to watch him. She had to go back to her own life, but he would have thought that what they shared mattered to her as much as it did to him. He detached himself from her, taking a few steps back, wrapping his arms around himself. Felicity saw the pain that her words had caused him, in his eyes, and in the way he was standing even though he tried to hide it. She had two choices, either listen to her head and leave him or listen to her heart and deal with the consequences of her actions when Oliver remembered. She was so in love with him. She had been given a glimpse of what it was like to be touched, surrounded, and kissed by the man who was all for her. How could she leave him? She walked forward and surrounded him with her little arms, and Oliver relaxed his arms and placed them around her.

\- I would only go home if you asked me to, Oliver, she said.

\- But you come in from outside saying that you...

\- I know! But I didn't want to be presumptuous and think that you always wanted me by your side even if you don't need me anymore.

\- Felicity, I want you to stay at the manor... I want you to stay with me. I know that physically, I'm fine. I'll manage on my own as the doctor pointed out but I want you with me longer than just the last few weeks. I want us to be together, he says, looking at her carefully to make sure she understands exactly what he means.

\- Me too, she replied.

Felicity rethought about what Diggle had told her. She knew that he was right. That she was fooling herself and that Oliver would not want a relationship with her because of his secret identity. However, she wanted to believe that their time together, during his amnesia, would change his mind.

#################################

Felicity turned over in her bed for the umpteenth time and let out a long sigh while staring at the ceiling. She had spoken with Diggle two days ago and his words were still mixed in her head. She had nightmares where Oliver was mad at her and asked her to leave the Team. She would wake up with tears running down her cheeks. She had also intentionally kept a certain distance between her and Oliver, not staying with him in the evening after the meal, and remaining locked up in her room. She knew that John was right and that she should have left the mansion, perhaps even asking Laurel to take her place, but she did not have the courage.

She didn't want to lose what was between them yet. The moment that he regains his memories back, everything would be over and she knew it. She wanted to enjoy these moments with him as long as possible. On the other hand, she also knew that John had told her the truth. Their story was not real, not for Oliver anyway. He was in this bubble, where his amnesia had erased his refusal of being in a relationship because of his night work. She needed to talk to him and explain to him why she had been distancing herself from him. She especially needed to tell him the reason she thought they should breakup. She took a look at the clock before she got up, it was past midnight but hoped that he would not be asleep yet. She walked along the wall in the hall and ended up in front of the door to Oliver's room. After a few seconds of reflection, she knocked to announce her presence.

Oliver heard knocking on the door. He had not slept well in the last few days since they returned from the hospital. He tried not to get angry about what the doctor had told him. Of course, he blocked memories because he didn't want that man, who owned that threatening voice, to come and take away the woman he loved. He was sure that if he remembered, the man would hunt him down and at the same time put a target on Felicity. If he didn't remember, she wasn't being put at risk. What bothered him was the distance that the young woman had put between them ever since she had talked to his driver. He didn't know what they had talked about, but it disturbed Felicity, who was always tense in his arms, now, whenever she stayed there long enough for him to kiss her.

\- Hi, he said, opening the door, contemplating her, unable to prevent his eyes from wandering over the tank top and the shorts she was wearing. Oliver forced himself to stop and look elsewhere otherwise he would jump on her.

\- Hi, I'm sorry if I woke you up, she says looking at his chest.

\- I wasn't sleeping Felicity, don't worry.

\- I wanted to have a chat with you, if you want to of course, she said.

He nodded towards his bed. They sat next to each other. She seemed nervous and it was obvious that she was uncomfortable with whatever she wanted to talk to him about, Oliver.

\- I think I should go back home Oliver...I know you're not going to understand my decision but our relationship has to stop, even if at the bottom of my heart I don't want to. 

\- Wait Felicity! We're good together. I know I don't remember us, but I'm sure my feelings are real, he says.

\- The feelings that you feel. The ones that you're feeling about me are due solely to the fact that I am with you all the time. It’s only because you see me... I'm sure if I hadn't taken care of you, if it were John, there would never have been anything between us, she says.

\- You're wrong! What I feel for you has nothing to do with gratitude. I would have felt the same way if you had stayed at home. It wasn't that you stayed close to me that drew me to you, it was your personality, your beauty.

\- You say that now because you don't remember the circumstances surrounding our meeting...But we have to see the obvious...Our relationship is not real...You built a bubble around us to protect yourself...

\- Our relationship is real! What I feel for you is real. This has nothing to do with my loss of memory because I'm sure I was feeling this way before the accident, he says.

He circled a piece of her hair around his finger before placing it behind her ear and leaving his hand on her cheek. He looked at her for a moment before leaning over and covering her mouth with hers. He slipped his hand into her hair to pull her even closer to him as he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue explore her mouth. When they needed a breath they split, but Oliver didn't let her go. He continued his kisses along her neck and then bit her earlobe as he wrapped his arm around her waist, placing his hand on the bottom of her back.

\- I don't want you to go home...What we have will always be there after I remember you. I am even convinced that our relationship will be even stronger.

Felicity didn't know what to do, Oliver wasn’t helping her keep her resolve to leave him. His kisses and his reassurance were diminishing that decision. She wanted to listen to John and leave Oliver alone to stop what was happening between them right away. But she also wanted to trust the man she loved, to believe that he was telling the truth and that their relationship would withstand the return of her memories. The young man laid a kiss on her cheek and then let his lips slide down her neck, giving her several kisses to make her shiver.

\- Don't leave me Felicity, he says.

\- I don't want to do it, but it's best for both of us, she replied.

\- The best thing is that you stay here with me. I promise you, I'll never leave.

Felicity closed her eyes trying to make the best decision. Oliver looked so honest, but was he only with her because he no longer had the burden of saving the city on his back or were his feelings real like he said. Felicity decided to trust Oliver, knowing that she might still end up heart broken when everything went back to normal.

\- You can't make such promises, she says.

Oliver touched her lips briefly, while gently caressing her neck and shoulders before breaking contact and separating their bodies. He was relieved that the uncertainty he had seen in her eyes a while ago was replaced by a burning passion.

\- Stay in my room, he whispered.

\- Oliver! I don't think that's a good idea...

\- Just to be close to me, we don't need to have sex... I want to hold you my dear.

She felt him give her several kisses on the neck, then on her shoulder pushing on her shoulder slightly, causing her to descend, embracing the happy feeling in her chest. She closed her eyes letting herself enjoy the sensations. If he went any further, she would push him back, wishing to keep her resolve not to exceed past anything but kissing. He had asked her to stay in his room for that night. She too wanted to feel him near her, to feel his arms around her while they slept. 

\- Okay, I'll stay in your room if you promise me you'll stay safe all night, she says smiling. 

\- I want to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up with your beautiful face, smiling at me, making my life better, he said, caressing her smiling face and looking at her with that intense look that made her melt every time.

He lifted her up to lay her on his lap without breaking their kiss. He could feel her chest sticking against his. He knew that if they continued, he would need a cold shower. His lips moved with urgency against hers. His tongue slipped into her mouth and tangled with hers. After taking a breath they moved again on the bed. This time Felicity on her back with Oliver over her. He looked at her face as he pressed another light kiss on her lips. 

\- I know you told me that you weren't my girlfriend, but we were on the way to getting here, he asked, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

Felicity felt her heart beat fast at his question, he thought they were flirting before his accident which was the opposite of what was happening since Oliver was not interested in her, but rather another woman.

\- No! We were only friends... You.... You've never had any interest in me apart from sharing a friendship with me and I'm afraid how you'll react when you remember that, she says.

\- It's not possible that I'm so blind that I don't see how beautiful you are, how desirable you are, he says.

She knew that Oliver had never been blind, she knew that he thought she was cute in her own way, but he didn't want to be with her, it was as simple as that.

\- I can't answer this question because for once I don't know the answer. You never showed that you had any interest in me...I'm just your friend in your eyes, she sadly says.

\- So I'm just an idiot, he replied before he kissed her lips.

Felicity felt tears forming at the corners of her eyes as he kissed her on the neck. She tried to push him back so he wouldn't notice. He wouldn't understand that she was very moved by what he had just said. She loved him, but she wanted him to actually love her in return without his amnesia. She knew that he did care about her before his accident. They were best friends, each of whom could rely on the other in most cases and it was a kind of love. She also hoped that he would nurture a deeper love for her, a love that he might not be willing to admit for fear of losing her because he had lost so much. His parents, his best friend, and probably people that had been important to him for those five years in hell, like Shado. He hadn't really told her much else about that time.

\- I think that's why you changed your mind about me...A bit like Stockholm syndrome except you're not my jailer and I'm not a captive, she says.

Oliver rolled onto his side, leaning on his elbow as he looked at Felicity. His hand stroking his face and he smiled softly when his eyes met her eyes.

\- As I have already told you, I am convinced, no certain...that before this accident I already had feelings for you...I don't remember why I didn't act on them but I know deep down that my feelings aren't new, he says leaning in and kissing her lips.

She enjoyed this kiss. She had dreamed many times about his lips on her own, the kisses he would give her, long and sweet, hot and passionate, loving and then sleeping together fulfilled and happy.

She knew that his hands were rough because of archery, but she thought it would be wonderful to feel his hands when they touched her body, when they gave her pleasure. She wanted to touch him too. To put her hands on his well-muscled chest, to touch every scar, to remove the pain he had experienced with every impact. She wanted him entirely, caressing him, tasting him, she wanted to feel him and claim him as her own.

But he wasn't ready for this before the explosion. He was ready now but she didn't want it when he didn't remember their meeting, and their mission to protect the city. Felicity knew that if she let herself go that far, if she let them have sex, when he rejects her, she wouldn't recover. She would have to leave the team, even the city. Sharing kisses, being delirious about what was happening between them, she could bear it if it might end in a relationship.

When they have sex, if that happens after his memories came back. She wanted him, Oliver Queen, Arrow, whom she had known for three years, not this version of Oliver who didn’t really know himself. She pushed him gently onto his back and then laid down with him putting her face against his chest. She felt him relax and fall asleep peacefully. She thought of what he had just told her and hoped with all her strength that he was right. That the return of his memories would not mark the beginning of the end of what they shared. She placed a kiss on his chest, closed her eyes and took advantage of the chance to be in his arms, at least for now.


	9. Chapter 9

Two days had passed since Felicity had wanted to break up with Oliver without much success. The young man, having, convinced her to stay close to him. They had decided to go out tonight. They had just finished having a very good evening talking about things and other people in their lives. Oliver promised to take her to Vegas one day so she could see her mother. After the meal they walked hand in hand towards the car which was not far from the restaurant. The night was beautiful. Since their conversation in his room two nights ago, Felicity had decided to enjoy the moments with him knowing that everything could stop in at any time. 

When they arrived in front of the vehicle, Oliver turned, wrapped his arms around her waist, kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her neck, then he covered her face with more little kisses, before landing on her mouth. The little kisses turned into a long sensual kiss with his tongue slipping into her mouth expressing the love he felt for this woman. After that long kiss, Oliver laid his forehead against hers . This evening had been fantastic. He saw himself doing this every weekend with her before expanding their family. He had never thought about marriage or children, during his youth. His escape on his father’s boat with Sara when Laurel had suggested they move in together was proof of that.

Now with Felicity everything was different. He finally felt ready to start a family. He was madly in love with her. He had managed to convince her not to break up with him but he was always afraid that she would change her mind. He wanted to show her over and over again that he would never play with her heart. The kiss began again. It started slow and then exploded as the seconds passed. Their tongues explored and licked each other while their lips moved with passion. 

Oliver did not know how he knew that imminent danger was approaching. Perhaps through learning to be careful of his environment for five years on the Island. He opened his eyes and could see two men coming out of the shadows. Felicity felt him slowing the kiss, looked at him and saw him staring at a point behind them. She turned. She could see the two menacing men.The first guy on the left had a leather jacket with a scar on his right cheek, the second guy was in a hoodie looking at her with lust, which made her shudder with apprehension. Instinctively, Oliver placed Felicity behind his back to protect her from these two men who were not there to have a friendly discussion with them.

\- Give me your money, said one of the men pulling out a pistol from behind his back pointing it at Oliver.

Felicity watched Oliver to see if the attack stimulated his memory. He watched the attackers. His gaze turned black, just like every time he became the Arrow, which meant his instincts were intact. She was worried that a memory was starting to emerge and it would lead to one of those painful migraines, which would allow the man to attack her boyfriend. She took a deep breath as she slowly slipped her hand into her pocket to send the emergency signal to the foundry. The second man approached Felicity and then suddenly threw himself at her pulling her away from Oliver who could not make a move due to the barrel of the gun on his chest now. The man grabbed her by the waist and covered her mouth so that she would not scream. 

\- Now do what my friend asks you...Otherwise I take care of your girlfriend especially since she’s such a beauty and I'm sure to have a lot of fun with her.

Oliver doesn't think twice. He attacked the man with the gun twisting his arm which made him scream with pain, with his other hand he punched him in the face. The guy stumbled because of the force of the blow but didn't retreat from the attack. He approached Oliver again, but Oliver kicked his knee and the attacker lost his balance. Then Oliver gave him another punch, sending him flying and causing his head to hit the asphalt. He turned around to take care of the second man when a woman in black appeared out of nowhere. The one, the newspapers were talking about. She caught the man from behind causing him to lose his grip on Felicity. In two seconds, the second man found himself on the ground. She approached his girlfriend and put her hand on her arm. They didn't speak but Oliver realized that Felicity knew her when she nodded her head reassuring the women in black that she was fine.

The vigilante turned to him and when their gazes met, he felt like he recognized her eyes. He tried to remember where he had seen her, when it happened, a flash. _**\- He saw a man dressed in green moving towards the front of this woman who was tied up with cables -**_ Sara looked at him intensely and turned her face towards Felicity. Felicity gave her a little nod of her head asking Sara not to talk. Felicity knew John had informed her of Oliver's amnesia but she also knew that if she would utter a single word Oliver would recognize her voice. However, when they saw him look at Sara with a fixed stare and without moving, Felicity understood what was happening. She moved closer to Black Canary.

\- He is seeing a memory, she whispered slowly.

Oliver, who kept seeing the scene, realized that the man in green looked like him. He saw the woman in black throw an instrument on the ground. _**\- It exists in a stronger form? Why are you following Laurel Lance?**_ I would've returned the question over to you a while ago. Some stories are made to last. You and her. Eternal love, not true. -  Oliver lowered his eyes and put his hands on his temples. That man didn't look like him, it was him! 

Even with the distortion he recognized his own voice...It was...his. The pain was quite intense at the time of this realization. That meant that the threatening voice did not belong to the person he thought, it belonged to another person who wanted to attack Felicity.

The biggest question he was asking himself was, why did he want to hurt her? Why was she in danger? The pain hit him even stronger. He took several breaths in his nose and out his mouth wanting to calm down, trying to stop the pain out. The flash started again. _**\- Who are you?**_ Once you know your life will not be the same. _ **I'll get over it.**_ Not this time. -  All of a sudden it stopped, leaving him with so many more questions. He raised his head and looked towards Felicity and then turned towards the woman in black who he felt he knew. He stared at her for a moment without saying anything, trying to do everything possible to understand how they knew each other since he had seen himself with her in his memory.

\- Who are you? I know you, don't I ? You seem so familiar, he said, holding his head as it became more painful the closer he got to her.

Felicity, realizing that the pain in his head was not decreasing like usual after he saw a memory, looked at Sara and asked her silently to leave, which the Black Canary did quickly. Oliver felt the pain diminish and then completely disappear.

\- Are you still in pain? She asked, thinking that the fight and the encounter with Sara had triggered something.

\- It’s dissipating.

\- You had a memory, didn't you?

\- You know who she is, don’t you ? You weren't afraid of her. I also know her, he says instead of waiting for her to answer the question.

When Oliver looked at Felicity, he knew that he was right. She knew the Black Canary and based on what he could read in her gaze, he knew her too. But how could both of these things be related to the trauma that made him lose his memory, they were so different?

\- Why didn’t you tell me that I was a vigilante too ?, he asked staring at her.

\- Oliver! You finally remembered, she says, wrapping her arms around him and laying her face on his chest.

\- I don't remember Felicity. I saw myself in this flash of memory where I was dressed in green. Please answer me?, he asked softly while kissing her hair. He was not angry with her, knowing that she had just followed the doctor's orders.

\- I think it would be best to show you a place that could help you remember but not yet. Your pain has exhausted you. We'll talk about it again later. I promise I'll tell you what you want to know when you feel better, she replied.

Not wanting to force Felicity again or his brain, he asked his girlfriend no more questions. He placed a brief kiss on her lips before he hugged her and hugged her against him. He heard the police sirens in the distance. He took a look at the two men to make sure they were still unconscious and then they started to get into the car. When the police finally arrived, they had already left the scene.

While driving back to the mansion, Oliver promised himself to do everything he could to make his memories come back soon. He couldn't stand being in the dark about the last two years or what he undertook after his return from the island dressed that caused him to start wearing a green suit. His relationship with Felicity was beautiful, but he felt that she was holding back. He didn't want to lose that relationship because of some irrational fear that she had that he would not want her when he remembered everything. Moreover, he wanted to understand who was the threatening and unknown man he had heard in his head. He felt everything was connected, but he couldn't complete the puzzle in his head. The final piece hasn't yet been unveiled. He knew that as soon as he found that man, his memories would return immediately.

#######################

For several days Felicity had been sleeping with Oliver every night and tonight, like the previous nights, they were watching a movie on Felicity’s tablet, kissing. Then she was sleeping against him. He held her in his arms listening to her breathing, caressing her bare shoulder. She fell asleep a few minutes after the second movie was over but he couldn't fall asleep even though ever since Felicity had started to sleep in his bed with him, he had felt at peace. Since the attack he has had a lot of questions. They hadn't talked about the woman that he saw in his flash of memory. The next day she wished to discuss it but he refused, not wanting to feel pain again. He explained that when he felt ready to listen to her, he would let her know. He wondered if his driver and his sister's boyfriend were part of the secret as vigilantes. 

Another question was in his head. If his girlfriend worked with the vigilante, was that why he saw her hurt in those flashes ? Was he the one who saved the woman he loved on several occasions ? Was it possible ? He had seen himself dressed all in green, like Robin Hood. But that posed a new question. Who was the threatening voice that caused the unbearable pain in his head.

When he was sure that Felicity was sleeping deeply, Oliver slowly walked away from her, went down the stairs and headed towards his father's office. He sat stroking the wood of the furniture while thinking of his dead father and the sinking of the Gambit. He turned on the computer and started looking for info on the woman in black and on the vigilantes who were protecting the city. Within a few seconds, he found himself reading several articles. Not on her but on the city's hero, The Arrow.

The first articles referred to this vigilante as a murderer, but in the more recent months, there were more articles that thanked him for saving the city with his team. He continued to search and he found photos taken by fans. There were photos of the vigilante on the roof of a building with another hero in red beside him. Given his height, he assumed it must have been Roy, so he was right, Roy was working with him. Realising these articles weren’t causing him to have a headache, he kept reading again and found an article about his mother who had been attacked by that vigilante. A flash came to him, the vigilante was in a car with a wounded shoulder. He was bleeding heavily. The door opened and a blonde woman got inside. The man made a noise and the woman turned. _**\- I won’t hurt you, Felicity.**_ How do you know my name ? _**Because you know mine. He saw the man drop his hood.**_ Oliver! Everything about you just became extremely clear -

He took a deep breath when the flash disappeared, and he realized two things. The first one was Felicity, his Felicity, was the one in the car. The second, he was The Arrow. He finally understood why Felicity’s friend Diggle said what he did, after he woke up. He wanted to know if he remembered that he was the vigilante of the city. He kept looking online and was able to find the name given to the woman dressed in black who saved them from those two men a week ago.She was called the Black Canary. A new flash started where he saw himself taking the mask off of this woman. He was stunned by the realization of who was in front of him.

\- Sara! he shouts.

The one that he believed dead on The Amazo was not actually dead. She had become a vigilante and was surely working with Roy. There was no doubt that Felicity and Diggle had been supporting them too. He closed the webpage knowing that this is not the way he would get answers even though the pieces of the puzzle were starting to come together. He had to find something that belonged to him as the vigilante. He got out of the office and started looking for clues, in all the rooms. Some of them were empty and he knew why. Soon the family mansion would be auctioned off and it made him sad. Finding nothing, he went back to his room where his girlfriend was sleeping. When he went in, his eyes lingered on the door of the closet. He had this feeling, as if something was in there but he couldn't figure out what it might be.

He advanced towards the closet feeling the acute pain in his head again but he ignored it. He found himself in front of the door. He pulled down the handle, turned on the light inside and let his eyes scan the room. When his gaze landed on the box he had brought back from Lian Yu. The pain intensified even more, putting it aside as much as he could, he advanced towards the box. When he opened it, he saw the bow that Shado had given him broken, as well as a black and orange mask inside; Slade's. His head was now pounding more and more as his mind was trying to collect the last few pieces. He reached out to take the mask. His head began to pound even more, like when he was in New York which meant that his trauma was related to his old brother Slade. At least that is what he suspected but how could that be possible he had died, he thought. Suddenly, he heard the threatening voice in his head again _**\- Welcome home. Don't forget who taught you how to fight, kid.**_

Oliver felt his body spasm. He wanted to go see Felicity. He heard the voice again _**\- I was surprised. I thought you were attracted to women of character. Now that I've met her, I understand why you like her so much. She's quite charming... Your Felicity -**_ Oliver felt pain invading his head, as if his brain was being squeezed tightly. He clung to the shelves wanting to join the woman he loved but he crashed to the ground instead.

\- Not her. Don't take her, he whispered before he lost consciousness.

Felicity shivered. She turned over to snuggle herself against Oliver's chest but was met by the cold sheets instead. She opened her dry eyes and she realized she was all alone in the bed and the room. She pushed back the blankets and reached over to retrieve her glasses from the bedside table. She stood up to leave the room in search of Oliver but saw the light on in the closet first. She approached the door. When she opened it her heartbeat accelerated as she saw Oliver on the floor. She threw herself down at his side, not paying attention or caring if she damaged her knees. She immediately put her hands on his face caressing his beard and his forehead, she brought her ear down to his face and felt him breathing on her cheek.

\- Oliver! she said acutely as she tried to wake him up by gently shaking his body.

Oliver heard someone call him while they caressed his face. He couldn't open his eyes or understand what had happened to him. As he started to move, he realized that he was on a hard floor and not on a soft bed. He also felt his head was pounding horribly, as if he had just finished a wrestling or boxing match. When he managed to open his eyes, he found that his vision was blurry again.

\- What am I doing here?, he asked.

Felicity felt her stomach tighten. She realized that he had finally regained his memory. She helped him sit up and avoided touching him too much knowing that he would push her back if he felt her hands on him. She tried with all her strength not to let her emotions show. Knowing their relationship was going to end in a few seconds and it made her unhappy.

\- I don't know. I fell asleep. When I woke up you weren't there….um...in your bed, she says.

Oliver shakly stood up. His head was still spinning at the moment. He wanted to lean on the wall, but he realized it was shelves. When his vision returned to normal, he noticed that he was in the closet. He turned his eyes to the person next to him and saw Felicity who looked very anxious. He closed his eyes for a few seconds to try and remember what might have brought him here in the middle of the night. His gaze swept over Felicity again and he could see tears forming in the corner of her eyes. He moved slowly toward her because his head still hurt. Then he looked down and saw Slade’s mask and Shado’s bow abandoned on the closet floor. The pain in his head intensified then a flash of memory started.

He saw himself dressed in the green suit on Queen Consolidated's premises, with Felicity approaching him _**\- He is wrong.**_ He is right. I lost everything because I fought Slade Wilson with one hand tied behind my back, this man murdered my mother, I have to kill him. _ **You told me you had a choice. That years ago you could have healed Slade but you chose to kill him. All of this did not happen because you wanted to become a killer, but because you were one. -**_ He wondered how he could have involved the woman who holds his heart in his life of being a vigilante. But that's a question he would have to ask her personally when his head stopped crippling him. Thinking of Slade intensified the pain again. He had to stop so he could concentrate. He raised his face and looked at Felicity again. The pain that should have dissipated, continued like a hammer on a wall.

\- I do want some of your miracle pills because I think my head will explode, he says.

He saw Felicity quickly get up and go get the pills. He kept moving forward and he remembered a few parts of his evening. The meal with the woman he loved, the movie they had watched, and the time he spent staring at her sleeping. Then he remembered leaving the room and then nothing. He didn't remember what he had done after, only that he had been asking a lot of questions about the city's vigilante. He walked out of the closet and went into the bathroom, where he heard Felicity muttering words he didn't understand. He sat down on the bathtub and looked at Felicity in the mirror. He noticed that she had cried while she was alone here. Her eyes were red and puffy. He blamed himself for scaring her. 

\- I need to remember, but I don't know how I found myself in the closet, he says.

\- The pain must have been even greater than usual for me to find you on the floor of the closet unconscious asking me if you were dead, she says, avoiding crying again. Do you remember who you are now?

\- No! Aside from this damned headache my memories are still hidden and well hidden, at that, in a corner of my brain, they haven't resurfaced.

\- You promised me, Oliver. You promised me you wouldn’t force your memory. I know it's frustrating to wait for it to come back by itself, but look where it leads when you push your brain, she insisted, while she let a breath escape.

Oliver apologized again for scaring her. She asked him to go to the room and she would bring him what he needed to relive his pain. Felicity came out of the bathroom one minute later with a glass of water and the pills. Oliver quickly thanked her. When she brought the glass back to the bathroom she started to feel guilty. She was glad that he didn't remember. Wishing to be with him still but she also knew that the city still needed The Arrow. She felt like a bad person all of a sudden, a selfish person, who preferred Oliver to remain an amnesiac, in order to be able to keep the relationship that was being built between them.

Felicity let out a sigh knowing what she had to do. She looked at herself in the mirror to give yourself courage and then returned to the room. Moving towards Oliver who had his head in his hands with his elbows propped up on his knees she thought that maybe it was not the time to tell him the truth. He had lost consciousness tonight and she didn't know how long he had stayed in that closet, but she knew he had to rest before he had this big discussion. Standing in front of him with her fingers laced in front of her, Felicity remained silent a few minutes before raising her eyes. 

\- Oliver! Tomorrow we'll talk. You'll have the opportunity to ask me questions and I'll answer you honestly but for now we need to go to bed. Resting will help the pain in your head calm down. I don't want another strong emotion to make your condition worse, she says calmly.

\- Let's go to sleep then, he suggested.

Oliver stood up and took her hand. He still had no idea what had happened or why he had gone into that closet in the first place? Had he had a violent memory that had amplified the pain to the point of losing consciousness? Oliver also felt that the conversation they were going to have in the morning was going to end their relationship. He was going to fight for them. It was out of the question that he would lose this wonderful woman beside him. They laid down under the blankets.Felicity huddled in his arms, putting her ear on his heart to hear it beat for her for the last time because tomorrow everything would be different.

##############################

Felicity let out a long sigh and put one hand in her hair while the other held her cup of coffee that had a bitter taste today. She was not ready for the conversation that was going to take place when Oliver came back from taking a shower. He entered the kitchen, dressed in black overwear pants and a matching t-shirt. He only slept a little and had felt Felicity crying on his chest. Neither of the two had informed the other that they were awake and Oliver hated that there was still a distance between them. He knew it was his fault, but he didn't really know how to solve the problem.

\- Hi, he says leaning towards her and placing a kiss on his hair.

\- Hi, she replied

\- You want me to make you some pancakes, he asked, not knowing what else to say.

\- I'm not hungry, she says before she looks up and meets his gaze.

The uncomfortable little conversation caused Oliver's chest. He walked around the kitchen island and took Felicity's hand in his.

\- Tell me what's wrong Felicity, he says.

\- I know that after our conversation everything will be over with us because your memories will come back to the time before that I have spoken to you about. However, I can't let you keep trying to remember on your own as the doctor said. I'm afraid if you keep doing it you're more likely just going to overwhelm yourself, she said as she looked at him, tears in her eyes.

Oliver pulled Felicity tightly against his chest, burying his hand in her hair. He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her even harder as he put his head against his. Oliver felt bad to upset her so much, especially since all of this had been for nothing.

\- Felicity I...

\- You did some research yesterday on the woman in black, she said, cutting off his sentence.

\- Yes!! I learned that there are other vigilantes in town that I need to meet. Of which I am one. I saw myself on the roofs dressed in green, he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

\- Oliver, you're right, you're the vigilante more commonly known as The Arrow to the people of the city. Roy's your partner and he calls himself Arsenal, and the woman in black...

\- Sara is The Black Canary, he finishes her sentence for her.

\- Oh, you also remembered that, she said.

\- Let's say that memories began to resurface like the doctor warned us would happen. I don't block them anymore and I remember that Laurel's sister who I thought was dead is alive and running in the streets. That I found myself in your car with blood...

\- That's when I realized you were the vigilante, even though I knew, since you kept coming to me so that I could help you with some clues you were bringing me, she says with a smile.

\- Do you know why I'm doing this...... ? I mean patrolling at night to help the people of Starling City.

\- At first you did it to honor your father's memory because he had asked you to correct his wrongs by taking care of the men who are corrupt because of money and the power that have taken from the city, she says.

\- My father's notebook where all the names were marked... Adam Hunt, he said looking at her remembering that he found the notebook when he was in Lian Yu.

Felicity expected intense pain to radiate into Oliver's head but nothing came; he just kept telling her about several more memories. He even confessed to her that he was the vigilante. Oliver only remembered a few bits of his past. She didn't understand. She was convinced that when she finally told him about being The Arrow it would make all of his missing memories come back. Unless the reason for his amnesia was not because he was The Arrow, but because it was a deeper trauma. 

\- I know it's hard to hear it and I'm sorry I didn't mean anything but the risk just wasn't worth losing you completely, she told him before she pulled back from him just enough to see his face.

\- Something else is bothering you Felicity, tell me what is wrong, he asked.

\- Oliver! If we continue being together it will be difficult to stay with you when you're able to be The Arrow again because I know you and you'll push me away, she says.

Oliver placed an arm around the young woman's waist while she wrapped an arm around his neck, putting her free hand on his back. As he looked at her, he slowly walked forward and brushed her lips with his own. Then he pulled her firmly against his body so that no space existed between them and captured her soft lips again. Oliver's tongue glided across her lips as he begged to enter her hot, humid mouth. When she let him in, their tongues danced in a dance that they both knew so well since they had begun a relationship.

He groaned as her nails passed gently through the hair on his neck. His fingers slipped into her hair, pulling her even closer. With his eyes closed he got lost in the fragrance and touch of the woman he loved. Oliver soon forgot everything around them. When they separated, he put a finger on her lips, fondling them for their softness.

\- I promise you that you're too important for me to let you go, he says.

Felicity didn't answer knowing that until he remembered, he would always think he wouldn't leave her. She asked him to visit the foundry now that she had told him the mystery. Perhaps it would bring back his memories and finally give her the answer she so much wanted to know. Would he stay with her when his memories come back ? She was convinced that it would be no... 

\- Can you ask your friends to come, as well as to Sara?, he asked.

\- Those are all our friends Oliver...I will ask them to join us, she replied.

Oliver thanked her by putting a kiss on her forehead. Felicity put her head on his chest enjoying these few minutes of happiness knowing that whatever he says, when Oliver fully rediscover his memories, he would leave her to resume his mission.


End file.
